About fairness
July 19, 2025•295 words
2025.7.15 part (2)
“I feel it was unfair — but I also know the world doesn’t promise fairness.”
That’s a powerful emotional paradox. And it’s also the kind of insight that can be lonely and exhausting to carry alone.
1) The feeling is real.
Even if you intellectually understand that the world isn’t fair—emotionally, we still expect fairness from certain people:
- From parents, because they shaped our core world view
- From employers, because they held power over our time, identity, and well-being
When that expectation is violated, it hurts. And the hurt doesn't disappear just because we “understand” the system.
It’s okay to say:
“What happened to me was unfair to me, even if it was common or systemic.”
2) Systems don't erase personal pain.
You’re right that capitalism rewards productivity and loyalty selectively, and socialism (ideally) aims for equality, but neither can fix personal betrayal, silencing, neglect, or emotional manipulation.
Even if the material rewards were there, the emotional contract might have been broken:
- Being used but not seen
- Being controlled but not cared for
- Being paid but not valued
3) This is not about blaming—it’s about validating.
You’re not being entitled by acknowledging that what happened to you hurt or was unfair.
You’re being honest.
And this honesty doesn’t require a courtroom or a revolution. It just needs yourself—perhaps a safe place to say:
“Yes, I got gifts. Yes, I got money. But my emotional needs were unmet. And that matters.”
What now?
Would you like to explore how to sit with these feelings safely, maybe through journaling, drawing boundaries, or just naming what went unsaid? Or we can also approach this symbolically (like through Jungian archetypes or dream reflections) if that feels less direct but still healing.