dosing.me

@dosingme

I'm a guy in his late-20's recently shaken by a major depressive episode brought on by lifelong styles of thinking. I'm earnestly seeking self-compassion through psychodynamic therapy, lifestyle changes, and microdosing psychedelics.

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phase 1, day 28 - backslide

dose: 20 drops liquid psilocybin

I've noticed hateful and impatient thoughts returning. My mind seems to want to distance itself from people, to see them as stupid, in order elevate myself above them. I feel cold, distant, detached, impatient, irritable, scornful.

I do realise that around 5 days ago I took large doses of LSD and psilocybin, which may have contributed to this especially "enlightened" afterglow I experienced a few days afterwards, which I wrote about yesterday.

I hope I can continue on a true microdosing regimen and rediscover the experiences from a few days ago, stabilising them further. Nonetheless I remember that I need to be kind to myself, to accept the ups and downs of this journey, and to not beat myself up for the non-linear nature of my progress. This is all part of my endeavour to be a loving, kind, happy person!


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