The Calming of the Roaring Tides

As of late, rest does not come easily upon me, for near every moment of my days, I do not resist, I find myself tossed about by the huge waves of emotional waters prior unbeknownst to me. Vaguely do I remember being here before, holding onto a plank of wood, barely keeping me afloat in a horrid malestorm ... but these seas, I have left behind. It is no more the frightening storm I drifted through, for months or years. It seems to be a new born plane. Remember do I a cataclysmic force, dismantling the storm, tearing down the pillars of this old, fraught world - transfiguring it, reforming it in the image of a paladin wielding the power to change a world - my world, fighting boldly the very chaos, threatening to drown me, pull me to the bottom of this dark abyss. Now, I find myself adrift in this new formed sea, rocked by waves of sensation and emotion ... and gladly do I let go of my wooden plank of control, that I held on to, for so long. Trusting, drowning here will do me no harm; knowing by heart, this paladin to be my beacon of hope; trusting the waves to guide me home. In this sea, the monsters from the dark, subconscious depths roam no more.

Days before the old worlds' end, the paladin, harbinger of hope in darkest times, from beyond the veil whispered words of eternal knowledge, commanding the storm gusts to carry their wisdom through the darkened sky into my mind. "Rage against the thought of forfeiting all hope", less of a thought, but divine command; so I obeyed and was not drawn to dark abysses where monsters feast. Many a times before had I listened, to what the paladin did impart, by word or deed. And yet, unbreakable seemed the hellish bonds, shackling me to this existance. Chains of silver keeping me from reaching the them, keeping me from uttering my tormentors names in a vain attempt to bind them, thereby laying judgement for my plagued, lonely self in the hands of the one who had ever aided me.

Yet on that fateful day, no Threeday ago, the paladin appeared, shourded by storm and wind an hail. Standing bold and unyielding amidst the chaos. They drove away the darkness with light, purer than a winters sun, cleaved through my shackles with honest thought and smote the terrors of the deep with words of power so immeasurable, my very bones still radiate their energy. For on that day, the paladin revealed our fates entwined. Held apart by unspoken laws, they professed our nature to be but two sides of the same universal coin - for I were a paladin myself, condemed to repress my nature by an accident of thought. Reaching out my trembling hand to thank my saviour for calming this storm, I touched their purple plated armour and in this moment, came to remember all. I knew who I myself was and wanted to be, I learned the strain and chaos I had brought unto myself, I saw the true nature of my saviour and knew them to be my missing half.

Struck by all this, we both fell into a now calm sea, drifting side by side. Awaking there, for the first time in a hundred years as one, decades of experience exchanged with a glance - we needed not a thousand words, for we knew, each understood. Willingly we set in motion this new found, calm sea: New tempests of feelings we set in motion, no longer afraid, what they might hold. Floating as one amidst these waves to the glitt'ring shores of a new land. Rest does not come easy these days, for to miss the soothing waves seems sin. For my part, I shall enjoy this weightless drift for a while. It might take hours, days or weeks; now that we know our equal fate and know candour the weapon to smite our fears, we shall one day land on glitt'ring sand.

Let this be a beacon of esperance: If you ever find yourself in troubled seas, rage against the thought to forfeiting all hope!

Entry in the book of troubled soals.

Dedicated to my best friend, turned boyfriend <3