Day12 PT

I'm worn out this evening. I've been doing PT for a while now because my knees aren't really up to the tasks I have for them. I'm doing PT to try to get to the point that I can do up and down curbs and small sets of stairs and that kind of thing, without it bringing lots of moans and groans. It's been an interesting experience. 

First of all, I find the human body to be a wonder. Just how it works. All the connections and interactions and everything working together... well, it's just a wonder.  On the other hand, there are tiny, little things that can cause harm that we can't recover from. In my 20s, I developed a bowel obstruction because the intestine telescoped into itself and literally became a knot. A doctor had to cut out the knot and then stitched the ends together. All went well, but through most of human history, I would have died as a result of the knot in my guts. 

My current issues with my knees are the result of being overweight and being too inactive too much of the time for too long a period of time. In many situations, I would have had to move just to live my life. As it is, if I need to go somewhere, I get in the car and drive there. I don't know to walk further that walk that would be involved in doing weekly grocery shopping. The challenges of PT are the result of having too few challenges for too long. 

I often find PT to be an opportunity to deny my own self-will. I'm a single woman who is able to work full time doing a job that I am well-suited to doing and my job provides me with a comfortable income. My adult grandson does live with me, but I pretty much can do whatever I want whenever I want for however long I want to. I don't think it's really good for me to have things my own way so much of the time, so I look for things that will encourage me to deny my own will. PT is one of those things.

I have to be as transparent to the PT as I can. I don't want to just complain all the time, but I do have to tell her if I have any pains or anything like that. She tells me what exercises to do (and how) and how many reps or how long I should do it. I need to obey her instructions to the best of my abilities and to tell her about the outcome. A couple times I told her that I thought an exercise was too much for me. A couple times I told her that we could increase the difficulty of an exercise if it seemed too easy. There is one thing I would like to be able to do, so she has included a couple exercises to help with the goal. 

The bottom line is that when I go to PT, I expect the PT to tell me what to do (and some of it may be hard). I not only need to do what she tells me to do, but I need to align my will with her will to get the best results. If I'm not doing an exercise right, she will correct me. I make sure I understand the correction and I put the correction into action immediately. 

I've been thinking about this today. Then I realized I'd like to have a spiritual director like my PT, and I would like to be like I am with my PT for any spiritual director who the Lord sends to me. At least, I think I *wish* for that. Dear Lord, help me to *want* it. Then help me to *will* it.  Dear Lord, give me your grace.