#67 Don’t assume what’s good for your kids

When I was thirteen, my parents took me to consult a Psychologist. Reason? I flunked in all the subjects at school. My parents assumed I needed to talk to a psychologist without talking to me about what was going on.

Until 9th grade, I used to wake up at 4 AM, take a bus to Egmore, play tennis, come back and go to school. In the evenings, I had a music class. Then I had homework. I felt tired all the time and was not able to focus on my studies. My teachers constantly kept telling me that music and sports won’t do me any good and that I’m gonna end up begging for food someday (those were the exact words of my Biology teacher).

But I didn’t want to excel in sports or music. Those were the things my parents wanted. I did not want to be famous. I want to live a normal life. Make good money. Have fun. Travel. And maybe write a little.

From my tenth grade, I quit the extra-curricular. And, I never went below eighty percent. Sometimes parents want a lot of things from their kids. I know someone who said that she wanted to make her son a doctor who was studying commerce in high school.

If you’re a parent or going to be one, put yourself in your kids’ shoes and see if you could take it all if you were them. If you think late-night calls and continuous meetings are taxing for you, imagine a kid taking classes all day and coming back home to do more homework.

Don’t assume things like your kids needs a psychological counseling. Talk to them, understand them and offer them options. Don’t surprise them. They’d like a cake as a surprise, not a Psychologist asking them what is their favorite color.

We’ve all been kids and we’ve been through a lot. Let’s not do this to our kids.