THIRTY THREE

hmm i dont care, yeah seriously, hi everyone wellcome to my new blog of my daily blog series, well todays blog is special & diffrent than anyother blog i have ever written & publish publically, its part of my dailuy blog series & also one of my exclusive blogs

lets clear one thing that its not on general topics or kind of topics i used to write so far, so if ur looking for that type of content, this blog is not that, but i will still request u to stay

but not forcing at all, u can skip it, which is not recomended by me, cs this blog is abt something very special, abt us, the ppls across the world who wanna succeed on our lifes, & wanna keep our promises that we made to ourselfs a long time ago

dont remember, u think u can pass by saying that u dont remember or even ever made a promise to urself, so that means either in ur childhood u was out of sense or ur just an liar

its hurts to acknowledge that we all are just liars, but its an universal truth, im also one so i can say that, and even though its shame to say it but what we're shaming of after runing our own life

does anything even maters at this point, we're lying for our whole life to ourself, yet it still sounds shamefull or even bad to us, but we cant deny that its true, but still many one out there might not accept it, so throughout this whole blog i will only myself to explain everyones situations, just wanna make everyone out there feel comfortable, but remember that im also talking abt u if ur not a really succesfull ppl who actually achieved happiness

thats why this blog is very diffrent than my other ones,& to remind its not gonna feel that long that it truly is, & im using a keyboard that dont support auto correct so ignore my mistakes pls, & also not an native english speaker so ignore that also

but is it actually helps, ignoring our mistakes, sorry my mistakes, since most of u out their dont listen u mistakes from some random guy arround the globe, so im fine with putting my mistakes in front of everyone cs now im at a point where it doesnt even matter

like seriously, what even matters, does my life actually matters, i mean who im, some random human being out of 8 billion humans on earth currently living, even this number 8 billion teaches me something at this point

the thing is that, this number is not accurate, there can me more or less than 8 billion ppls, there is no exact count of it, many of u might not get it, but think it of like this that there is 1 more than 8 billion ppl on earth that is got wraped & approxiamated to come up with 8 billion, & what if ur the person who got not counted

does this even matters, will anybody cares, nobody cares, & if thinking of it in this much big scale is a problem, think it on small scale like in ur city or neighbourhood, but to remind u this world is not big at all, cs if u compare earth size to the range scientists have discovered untill today, earth seems like a little piece of mud flying arround the universe

but still we're here considering it as a big wall while after even knowing the truth, so in our big world its still doesnt matter, if u ever seen any hot topic that is trending on social medias & all over world following & discussing abt it, u might have thought this will stay long on ppls mind & also in be discussed for long time

but did they stayed for that long that u expected, i dont think so, any thing that goes globaly viral in huge population, still gets down & wiped from others mind in a month or two, even a panadamic like covid-19 u might faced of is now not in anyones daily discussion, but it was just 4 years ago when everyone got panicked from its distrubution

this is the pure example of validity it self is not validated for long time, every thing goes up comes down & comes down without even ppls realizing its vanishing from daily discussions & slowy even from mind, any topic that gets viral in short time gets wiped from in short time without even realization

only the things that stays in mind that dont go viral instantly, & thats how legends introduce themselfs, by slowly taking place on everyones mind doing something much big that changes the way of ppls thinking & by breaking limitations that any one ever only thought of breaking, only those stays on ppls mind forever

but to ur surprise, those who witness such legends also dont stays forever, but still those legends story, records & titles stays even after for few more generations, some stays decades, some stays centuries, some even for thousands of years, but entiretity is not possible, everyone & everything gets rid of our daily discussions

so why do i think i can stay, why do we think we can stay, yeah no matter what i do, what i say, its going anywere, even if u think at very small scale, remembering of some of my most embrassing things that i've done on past is not even remembered by my beloved ones, but at those time i thought it gonna matter lot which it also seemd like, but eventually it just faded to void of space with curve of time

& now after witnising all of that im still fearing to make mistakes & take risks, why am i doing thay, cs im afraid that maybe ppl wont accept it even if i do good thing for my life that slightly diffrent than general lifestyles, ppls all over my surrounding just love to taunt them who does something like that

but all they can do is taunt, they dony help on anyway, not physically or mentaly, and after some moments they found another tolic to discuss & completely for got about us, who makes mistake, yet im still worried abt their opinion

its not something to get explained by others or get to understand by reading books or thing, the best way to understand it is by feeling it from deep inside & the way doin it is simpl, it just took me couple of hours to visualize all my lifestyle & my surroundings to get to know that what doesnt matter in our life

how i feeld it, just sit on a dark space closin eyes yet still woke up just visualize what i've done an seen & what resultd what to get to know & feel & understand it completely that it doesnt matter

it doesnt matter what they say, they who dont even care abt us & just want a mistake of me to get theirself entertaind for few moments which they will eventually never recall untill i face them to prove them wrong, if u try to prove them wrong by arguing, good luck, ur wasting it, ur time, emotion, relation & also energy, ur just wasting it

but they need to be proven wrong right, r8 but not in that way, there is better way of showing ur importance by putting all ur time, effort, energy in that that actually matters & once u succeed in your ways, u dont even need to show them, they will get it automatically but some will still hate u but as u know they dont even matters

and its upto us to lock our focus on those things that actually matters, today i get to know a man, i met him at the street, as of everyone sayin i thought he is a mentally disabled, dont understand too much about the world and calls everyone else psycho, and laughs at all

but i never expected i'd learn something from him, he tolds everyone that, "u will go, ur parents will go, ur freinds will go, nobody will care if u wont here, so why ur having trouble in life", something that all wise men have said for their whole life

its teach me that, he isnt mad at all, he understands everything, just living his life the way he want, with no tension no drama, well he is mentally illed, but let that put on side & if we think of it, we will see that we're the actually mad ppls who just worried about simple thimg that may not even gonna exist after somedays

so dont be mad & come back to reality is what i choose, i was always delaying my works, not because their not important, cs i was even worried to start, i was worried abt others thoughts cs that what i was learned from my childhood, from my family & my surroundings, untill the day i came across to know & decided my mind that this isnt even matters

it was like more than 5 years ago when i finally came to know & fully understand that ppls thought doesnt matter, & from that time i completely stoppd give a little attention to their thoughts or speech, they dont care abt me so why would i care abt their temporary comments that never gonna effect me at all on my whole life, the moment i stopd thinking abt it, i just got little more happeir on my life & get a big time relief from taking unusal space on mind for those silly comments & thoughts generated by them

also i stopd cring many years ago when i was a child, this a story that always stays on mind, when i was a baby i cried a lot, for any reason, if i got fell, i cried, if i got pain i cry, get fever, cried, get illed cry, get less marks on exam, cried, get tortured by my mothers (its a dark story im not wanna talk abt a lot, my mother still alive & i live with her, yet still got tortured by her mentally a lot), every problem i got just passed with crying

untill one day, when i was a toodler was running to my school to not miss it, i was let, when i felt, i was preparing to cry but the time already wasnt enough, when i got some thoughts in early age that if sit an cry there, everybody will give attention but i'll not be able to reach my school on time that way, and it wont just benifit at all, untill that day cring never solved my problem directly imstead it made me pressure for others & let my work unfinished, so i didnt cried that day for the first time, stood up & reached to my school, after some few more time of cring, i just stopd it, and untill nowdays i never even cried when someone close to me died, cs it just not helps

i stopd cring, i stopd caring invalid comments, just not able to stop one thing, lying, to myself, lying about everything, i will do it later, its not possible by me, i cant do it, im not suitable for this, i dont have enough requirements it, and giving everytype of excuse i can find to stop my self from getting involved into productive paths to improve my life, some of recent one, i lended a big amount of money to some ppls who r very irresponsible, & they just making me do spin without giving money, thats why im telling my self that i'll focus on my life after getting my money back, which is an rediculas excuse to avoid being productive, but its working for me, & its not the first time, i have done things like that many more times

but i promise infront of everyone today in this blog, this time, i am officialy stoping lying to myself, it'll take time but it'll, another thing im stoping from tomorrow is, stop watching porns (yeah, im still an adict, i know its shame to say on public, but its currently the only option to stop it, so im doin it), its really a bad habit, my next blog abt it coming tmrw, but first time im stating my promises infront of public so i can finally stop it, & i know u also can, just focus on it for now, other things will stop eventutally, stop lying to urself stop lying to ur mind, and connect me for any topic like that in my socials

ops, its been a long writing & i dont think any next blog is gonna as lengthy as this, i writed it in 4 times, it toke like 4 hours to prepare it, i will publish it later for a reason, stay tuned with me for learn more & get to know more, understand more & always as i say u to do and get & have a better life...


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