BITCH

October 24, 2018•103 words

Home is where I am a minority, a place where I do not fit, where I am the round peg to their square hole. They openly stare with manga eyes, showering me with abashment for the way I dress, the way I talk and act. I wish for stares, but different ones. My mind wants to command them to worship me, but they see only an ugly duckling.

I hide behind the perpetual scowl, with eyes dead and shark teeth ready to strike at a moments notice. I am dead, indifferent to their scorn and ridicule, I am the resting bitch face extraordinaire.

👍❤️🫶👏👌🤯🤔😂😍😭😢😡😮

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My partner calls me attractive, but the mirror shows varnish barely covering a rotting carcass. Like decaying wood, spewing black fetid tar, with splashes of paint dabbed all over it. I have accepted that what she sees is not what I see, but I still want to scream at her to find someone better. Stop wasting your time on me, you are not that young anymore, go find yourself someone that's not ugly, not damaged. Be free, be happy, but it won't help, she would stay anyway. She tells me I have admir...

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Open palm slap to the face, fists to the skull, angry eyes staring at me. I cover before those eyes, I feel weak and deserving of everything I have coming. It's my fault, really it is, it's not just not something I'm saying. I should carry the blame, shoulder the burden. I'm sure it's my fault. I wish I could cry, cry this hateful angry person out of me, release him and let go of the hurt and the anger. I wish I didn't have to hurt you anymore, that I didn't have to bruise and punish you every ...

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BITCH

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