being extroverted as an introvert

This will be more a diary, but I just want to emphasize how much I feel like this summer has changed me. For one, I think I have become more extroverted. As a little kid, I was very talkative without any inhibitions, resulting in me always saying some awkward or socially inappropriate things, but as I became a teenager I cringed at those memories and set walls around how I communicate with people. Like most middle schoolers, I used to be insecure about my social interactions and friends. For an inexplicable reason, I used to beat myself up for having any awkward moment in a conversation and have the unrealistic expectation that all conversations will go smoothly (spoiler alert: some do not, and it isn't necessarily your fault!). I also used to harbor the worry that everyone besides my 2 best friends appeared to tolerate me but in secret despised my guts and thought I was annoying. Then as I got into freshman year of high school this worry slowly faded away as I secured a good group of friends (and also a boyfriend...). For all of sophomore year I was still very introverted, though. I was usually too shy to talk to my teachers or venture outside my friend group.

All of this was pushed aside this summer when I met someone who probably will stalk this blog (certified blog stalker!!!). She taught me many mini life lessons, including the importance of getting out of your shell and having the soft skills to talk to people, even if you are an introvert... whatever introvert means.

I think most people at my high school have friend groups settled out and aren't really open to socializing with other people, and I might have done the same. However, I really utilized that today, by not being afraid to meet new people and chatting it up when last year, I would have avoided my eyes and conversation. I met a lot of my old friends that I usually don't talk to often and caught up, and I talked to some freshmen and sophomores! I mean, I am a junior now... I want to help people younger than me find their way around and with their classes.