Sunday, Feb 22, 2026 at 1:25 PM

The noise in my had won't quiet.

My mom opened up a wound, as she does, and the pain is gushing out
Im not staying present Im not here
im in hypothetical situations
about lies she might be telling
the self satisfied grin on her face when she
thought she was cosplaying fox and friends
in my neighborhood coffee shop
and while I tried my best to...ignorantly
tried to approach the lies she absorbed
and flung out with the expectation
I exert all my mental and emotional energy
the satisfaction
that her daughter would be hurt and upset
the bragging that came afterward
and I'm left here wondering why
I let it go on this long

I knew who she was
she told me who she was
I didn't want to believe it
in denial I ignore it
ate the pain she fed me
in regular intervals
how much can I take
how much can she get away with
until I say I'm done
it seizure meds
it took the fog clearing
it took being the subtle clues
I couldn't see as I struggled
the struggle that gave her permission
to get away with this

and I wonder what happened
to me really
and I blame her
because something is....
unaligned