Why Rick is Morty and Jessica is a Bitch

I watch more Rick and Morty than I should. It's on heavy rotation alongside Star Trek, Frasier, and a few documentaries.

Rick and Morty is nonsensical and absurd; the perfect counter to the absurdity that is the United States political system.

I think Rick is an asshole and most of the treatment that is placed on Morty runs parallels to things that have happened in my life. But fuck, it makes me laugh. Not a little giggle here and there, but full-on belly laughter, something I need quite often.

If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it with a caveat; It's moronic, subtlety pokes fun at egomanicalism, and is offensive. It's not for children or even teenagers in my opinion. I've watched enough, that I watch most of the episodes these days, as I once watched Ferris Bueller's Day off; in the background, for noise, but don't think for a second I don't know exactly what is going on. I have this shit memorized.

There are infinite theories out there and I am sure this is even one; I am not taking the time to look, because I don't have 37 hours to get sucked into debates about a group of fictional characters in a world that doesn't exist. I like Rick and Morty, but not that fucking much.

Don’t You Have Better Things To Do?

Yes, I do. But this is what I am doing in this moment.

In the show, Rick is the father to Beth and Grandfather to Morty. They go on absurd adventures, using a portal gun, which can take you to any place on the "Central Finite Curve". The premise is that nothing we do matters. As I write this, there are infinite universes where I write this same article. There is also infinite universe where the article is never written, and infinite universes where the article is only half written. We can carry this on further to the point of absurdity, or I can stop now and get on with what I was trying to say.
Morty is the son of Beth, the narcissistic horse doctor, and Jerry, the out-of-work Chairman of the Department of Victimization (that phrase will start popping back up in my writing again at some point.) Morty has an older sister, Summer, who for all the shit happening around her, actually seems somewhat normal. Morty goes to High School on the days that Rick allows him to, and is completely head over heels in love with Jessica the Bitch. Morty is obsessed with Jessica to the point that his entire world revolves around the hope that one day he will be able to be with her. Morty has a serious case of unrequited love.

In this theory of mine, which may not be mine at all, Rick is nothing more than an older, jaded version of Morty. This is where it gets a little tricky so I am going to throw out a shit ton of assumptions, to make my argument match the title. Not unlike what many people do these days.

How Is Rick Beth's Father If He Is Also Morty?

Let us assume for a moment, that Rick actually is an older version of Morty. How is it that Beth views Rick as her father? Later in life, Morty, now Rick (M-Rick for future references) goes back in time to a point where Beth is a small child. Beth's real father, Rick, was killed while she was young. Beth's mother acts as if nothing is different because M-Rick used the memory eraser thing (From Morty's MindBlowers) to erase Beth's mother's memory of the original Rick. M-Rick then inserts himself into the life of Beth to play the role of her father. He bails setting up a reunification with Beth later in life, when Morty, is a teenager.

Beth's own issues with not wanting her father to leave again set up a dysfunction that allows, Rick, to do whatever the hell he wants.

This was all part of M-Rick's plan.

Rick now back in everyone else's life takes it upon himself to get Morty to stop obsessing over Jessica.

Why?

Because Jessica is a bitch who ripped out Morty's heart. That tragedy allows Morty, to become Evil Morty. Rick, who, remember is actually an older version of Morty, wants to prevent that from happening, so he goes to extreme lengths to not waste his youth on a girl who barely gives him the time of day. The one thing Rick hates more than anything is himself. That's why he is so abusive to Morty. He, in his own fucked up way, is trying to get Morty to see that there is more to life than Jessica.

Mermaid pussy anyone?

Rick realizing that he is at the end of his life span looks back and sees that he was jaded beyond belief. The progression from Evil Morty to Rick takes place at some point between Evil Morty becoming president of the citadel, an action that all the other Ricks approve of because he isn't focused on that bitch Jessica, and Rick and Birdperson's battle with the Galactic Federation.

Rick had to do something about Morty because deep down, Rick just wants to be safe and happy. Rick is taking Morty under his wing and wants to attempt to change the future by reliving the past.

How did Morty become Evil Morty?

If you've ever dealt with unrequited love you know that it is painful and lonely. After the major brush-off, let us say, Morty decides to go to the same college as Jessica, where she finally lays into him, and he sinks deep into despair. Evil Morty meets with Morty Prime and gives him the secrets to become just like Rick. Ricks hate themselves most of all, and Mortys hate themselves most of all.

That pretty much sums it up. It's flawed, but if you watch enough of it, you'll start seeing connections where nothing exists. After all, there are infinite universes, all with infinite things happening and what is one person's commentary on a nonsensical absurd cartoon?

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Originally published on Medium under my name.