That's the deal

I think a lot about the people I love dying – especially my grandparents – as that is likely closer than my other relatives. Luckily, they're still in great shape, active, and I see them often. This is truly a privilege I wish everyone could have.

Thinking about their deaths is exceptionally painful – it's heartbreaking and lonely. I've gone to therapy and read a lot about grief and mourning as a way to maybe anticipate or mentally prepare myself for the future. I don't think it will work.

The other day I was reading quotes about death and found one I really like. It almost makes things feel more... even.

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. – C.S. Lewis

Even writing this post is gut-wrenching, but it was on my mind so it had to come out.

It's kind of cool that the happiness and the pain is the same. How does that happen? How does it change? Is it like water, does it flow back and forth?

Talk soon, Mitch


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