Wednesday, Apr 5, 2023 at 12:02 AM 🌱

At my lowest, my most desperate and miserable -- sobered up, slowly dying, I was ready to give up everything. My job, my family . . . everything because nothing brought me any joy.

He would ask what, in a perfect world, I wanted. What did I imagine things could look like?

I had no idea how to answer the question.

I sobbed on my mother's shoulder, "Why can't I just be happy?" as I recounted children I loved, a wife I adored, a job that was my dream job.

What I did not understand at the time was that I couldn't fathom myself happy. I couldn't picture a configuration wherein I could survive, let alone thrive.

I would soon learn the first step was realizing I neither had nor sought hope. That tiniest of seeds 🌱 grew into a sapling I could hold on to. It will grow to be a strong trunk 🌳 I can lean on in time. All in time. ⏳

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