Noah

I'm feeling good. Better than usually – much better even. Just siting her, enjoying the music, vibing. Life could stay like this forever. I honestly hope it does. Not now though, no, tomorrow is another day. I need to perform at my best, for that I need sleep. After that though.. maybe then I'll be able to just sit there. Enjoy the music. Vibe. These are the moments I keep living for. ...

Sleep Every morning I crave it. Every evening I prolong it. That’s just the way it is. Every time I wake up, I’m determined to change. Every time I'm about to go to sleep, I deny my new found determination. I guess, that is just the way it is. My conscious self-control is much weaker, that the control my subconscious holds. I enjoy the feeling of "now being willing to change", but I think I can easily live without paying for it. (Un)fortunately, this is not the way life works: Everything ...

Ideology is what people turn to, when searching for meaning. This phenomenon can be observed when looking at an example like Humanism. The death of christianity lead to a vast increase in meaninglessness. People felt like christianity wasn‘t able to fulfill their need for meaning anymore, so they looked for something new. Humanism was what they were looking for: they found meaning in its different interpretations, such as socialism or liberalism. For one ideology to rise, another must fall. ...

"Today I will write something.", is what I said before sitting down on my PC. I turned it on, and waited for the screen to light up. During this, a thought slowly crept into my head. The loading screen passed, and my PC asked me to enter my password. So I did. I tried to ignore it, but with every second that I kept on looking at the screen, it came closer and closer and closer. My desktop was ready, so I moved my mouse over to my preferred writing tool. This idea, it kept on coming closer...

The problem with starting. Whenever I try to start something – like whatever this is – I feel the need to wait for the "close to perfect idea". When I find something I consider a close to perfect idea, I might decide to sit down – just to realize that I need a close to perfect beginning. So this is what I am doing right now: sitting here, writing about how I try to write – and how I fail with it. It's seems quite sad, that this is the best I could come up with. My creativity at its peak. ama...