An Outlet

Back again...with an even longer break between posts. Can't say I am totally surprised by my not keeping up with writing. Maybe the ADHD brain, I don't know. I did not even realize how long it has been since previous post. I actually have random starts of posts sitting in my notes that I am just going to chuck since they are incomplete thoughts I am not sure I could get back to where I was when I started them. I should have written more this year but time and energy were just not there.

Anyway, as an outlet, writing does help alleviate stress/anxiety. Great way to vent frustrations. I have done some scribbles on paper a few times just to get thoughts out of my head. I feel like now is a good time to try again with being consistent. I will not hold my breath, since I know my tendencies, but I will try again. I need an outlet with the general chaos the world is in right now. Too many things I need to say but can't say without pushback from peers or I am just an outlier in the field. Frustrations that may only matter to me but nothing wrong with expressing them publicly, right? Seems like everyone else is privy to expressing opinions, so why not hop on the proverbial band wagon?

I am on a second day of sick time, partially because I can't do office work right now mentally and partially because I started this week with some inner ear/sinus infection playing games with my balance. I am sure these two things are related. This year was a total burn out run on multiple levels. The final kicker for me was seeing how different the work load has been for me compared to the others in my cohort. We all get paid the same yet, I was tasked on finding work for them from my workload since I had so much while they had nothing. On one hand, sure, I'll hand off work to lessen my load. On the other hand, why did I have so much? Some of it was because I am familiar with protocols and my skill set is different. I also took on a chunk of it because there wasn't enough time to get them up to speed for when it needed to be rolled out. Probably the first time I have ever uttered to a boss "I think I do too much" after a crew meeting on who was working on what. Best part, even things that I put up as suggestions for them to work on, spare one of the core components (that really doesn't take long), haven't be touched. This stuff still needs to get done, before end of year. I still have a week of use or lose vacation to burn, too. It's fine...it's all fine. I'll get'er done, somehow.

Current mood: #burnoutweasel