some thoughts.

Do we ever stop and think about our impact?
On our ability to change, to alter, to dismantle.
I fear as a civilization we have normalized the ability of creation and destruction.

I used to lie about all aspects of myself. I would lie about my personality and my illnesses. I had pretended to have mental illnesses I didn't, so much so that I forgot who I was. I was so caught up in who I pretended to be, I lost sight of who I was, and how much I was struggling. By faking other ailments I ignored the ones I was struggling with.
I now struggle to tell people what I'm going through, and how much I'm hurting because I fear I'll lie. I fear I'll manipulate them and break their heart. I fear I will suddenly lose all of my empathy, and I'll become the people I hate.

I knew what I should know, but I didn't know it. my brain screamed his name, yet I forgot it all the same. it's such a hard feeling to describe; drowning in both understanding and ignorance.