My 12th Grade experience

When I reflect on my 12th grade experience, one thing in particular stands out: the way I relate to my own femininity. Over the summer, I discovered a podcast called Red Scare. It is a podcast with two female hosts from Russian descent who discuss art, philosophy, pop culture, and conservative politics. This was the first time that I heard other women speak honestly about what it means to be a woman. Red Scare touches on the beauty of being a woman in quite a primal manner; it removes itself from the influence of liberal politics in this discussion. Unlike any other female-lead podcast, they often discuss negative female traits. Though some may find these comments misogynistic, I found it liberating to hear these judgements that I attached shame to being voiced. I dissected my own female experience through this critique; I began to see how I have neglected my primal instincts out of shame. By nature, I have always been someone who finds fulfilment in caring for others, both emotionally and through acts of service; I saw this as a sign of submission and weakness. I have made an effort to lean into this instinct. I believe this to have impacted my political standpoint, more specifically: my views on abortion. Though I still believe that abortion should be legal and accessible, my relationship with motherhood and birth has changed. As gruesome and cavalier as this sounds, as a young girl, I believed that a fetus was merely a clump of cells. As I have become more in touch with biological female instincts, I sense that something inside me has changed; I believe life starts at conception, but the choice to have an abortion is far more complex than that.