October 1, 2023•449 words
I have decided to take the 100 days challenge.
When I was younger, in my teens, I used to engage and produce a bit on the internet. I ran websites, I had a clothing store, and consistently spurted my political views on facebook. The debates were intense, and my godfather especially enjoyed tearing apart my radical left-wing views. We were all young once!
The internet was a place I felt comfortable giving my whole self to and producing content, and engaging with strangers on, for good and for bad.
I chatted, played, built with people I'd never come to meet in real life.
Some time along the way, I disengaged.
At some point a fear of putting out what I feel under my own name took hold. I became a lurker on the internet, not really spending any less time there, but not feeling empowered to contribute my own thoughts.
But this web on which we live half our lives is a haven of opportunity! I once started a crypto project in a small discord with people whose real names I never knew, we worked long hours together figuring out hard technical problems. The project fizzled away eventually, and that was the last time I truly delved into a space, and became respected there - even under my anon username. Still to this day I am listed as a founding member in there, but no one has heard from me for some time.
I work in the crypto industry now, and the company I work for goes to some length to ensure the security of their employees. Including, but not limited to, a stringent course in personal security. I think this, along with a privacy-focussed outlook on life, has taken hold in a way that gives me fear in regard to publishing my thoughts online. Certainly I never post anything under my real name.
This Listed is psuedonymous, but for the record, I am called Tom!
But, it is a real name. Not like the anonymous handle I've lurked under all these years. This pen-name being half-me, half-anonymous is a little more comfortable for me. And perhaps, by the end of this challenge I'll feel a little more comfortable in myself and my creativity. "It's not good enough" is the attitude I'd like to shed through this exercise.
For me this challenge is about exercising the muscle that hits "Publish", "Send tweet", "send message". It's about dropping the limiting belief that my thoughts and output aren't worth others time. I hope to meet new people through it, meet people that align with my beliefs, meet people that want to build.
Maybe that's you?
Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow.