Hot and cold states.

You 2.0: In the Heat of the Moment

There have been a lot of studies that shows that we poorly predict how we'd respond when in a hot state. Women said they would confront sexist, inappropriate remarks but when put in that exact situation rarely did.

Not only that, we also downplay past experiences in our head. For example, a man tried to put his hand in ice for 1 minute. After 20 seconds, he gave up. Not long after, he proclaimed that the next time he would be able to do it. He did not succeed.

One way to prepare for hot states is to train for those situations. For women combating sexist remarks, that may mean practicing one or two lines that would confront the speaker in a way that was appropriate. "Gee Mark, I wonder why you're still single". Another is to reduce the friction to get out of the hot state. Having condoms nearby or being able to take a few breaths before responding.

Today I told myself that I wouldn't play games. Me in the cold state believed that will power and planning alone would be enough to control my urges. This was a very clear example for me that indicates that I need to take hot state situations with much more caution.

To build this unwavering character and rationality is one of the virtues of the Stoics. My purpose in life is to cultivate an unwavering character so that I can help others do the same. A world where everyone can navigate things with the rational mind is a place I would love to see.