Vibe Check

I recently turned 27 and with this new chapter in my life I feel a sense of urgency to do things that will build a better future. Specifically, I've become more grateful of experiences with other friends and family and that I'm being more proactive with maintaining healthy relationships. It's not that I didn't enjoy my time with friends and family back when I was say 18 years old. It's more that I felt entitled to these relationships, but being away from home for so long I realize that is not ...

Remember that the person that gives abuse or attempts to harm you, isn't the one harming you. It is your views on their action that does you harm. Take a step back and regain yourself to help realize this in the heat of the moment. ...

The rules and things by which you find satisfaction should not include externals like wealth, status or fame. By focusing the things within your control: your judgement, actions, desires, aversions and rational thinking, you leave no room to compare yourselves to others. ...

It's up to you to see the positive from the negative. Let nothing negative go by without that search. ...

There is no alternative, accept your situation and make the best out of it. That's all you've got. Don't expect sympathy, but of course happily accept it if offered. ...

Another person's loss is never truly bad. This is the view you should have if you are also hold this for yourself as well. If you can accept that the death of your loved is not truly bad, it should not be hard to see that another's loss is not truly bad. It is okay to sympathize with this person but be cautious that it doesn't change your view within. ...

Don't spend too much energy desiring a future or rummaging in the past. It is good to spend time in these moments but it is more important that those moments don't distract what is right in front of you. ...

If you wish your loved ones live forever or that people would do you no harm, you are foolish. The lifespan of your loved ones is not in your control. And bad actors will continue to be as they are. If you wish to not be disappointed in your own actions, or tempted by your vices then that is appropriate as they are within your control. ...

Learn to be okay with being seen as boring or uninterested in external things. Remember to distinguish between things that are in your control and things that are not in your control. Being absorbed with external things outside of your control, like the opinions of others, or the new fad will leave you neglecting the important things. ...

Does it matter if things don't go exactly how you wanted it to go? Wouldn't it be better if you felt good about whatever just happened? Well you can, if you think of it like so, imagine that the price paid to keep a level head was to have that negative outcome happen. Reverse the cause and effect. Doublethink it. Instead of seeing the spilled wine as causing the negative feelings. Think of how the spilled wine is the cost of having indifference and virtue. Is our peace of mind and tranquility ...

It is the nature of things to come into existence and go back from where it came from. It is natural and not in your control, so you should practice indifference. If your spouse or child dies, you have not lost them, they have been returned to where they came from. ...

Within us is the capacity to resist hardship. If tempted by beauty, shift your gaze. If in pain, find fortitude. You are tempted to eat that pizza, but do you have to? No. Instead of following the whims of temptation, stop and have a conversation with yourself. Even that simple act we often forget. Believing in your own capacity will help you exist without overwhelm. ...

Think of struggles as a way to practice virtue. Even on your worst days, treat others like it was your best day. Go about life as if you had a clear mind. ...

Don't wish things could have been different because that is not in your control. Wish that the events turned out precisely as they did. Be grateful for the opportunity to practice virtue. ...

Just as when the sailor visits land, sees the sights, collects the shells and enjoys the resources of the island. When the captain calls, they must leave all that behind and make haste for the ship, unless they be deserted. So to in life we can enjoy all the wonderful magical things that it has to offer. We can make something or ourselves, have a spouse and kids. But if the time comes for them to go, realize it is the natural order of life and that you must let go what you once borrowed from a...

Only take pride in things that are your own. Someone else's possession is not something to derive a sense of pride from. Neither is any material possession, even your money or clothes. The only thing that is truly yours is your mind and your actions. Take pride in your ability to practice virtue and use your body and mind to it's full potential as a rational, social being. On a daily basis remind yourself what is in your control and renounce all that is outside of our control. ...

Things do not hurt us, only our judgement of things can. Even death should not hurt us, as just as we were nothing before, so too shall we be nothing again. The time you had on Earth was wholly your own but it is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You are not so special. Like everyone, you will eventually die. If not today, then another day, but really, what is the difference? ...

If you plan your day and something goes wrong. Someone shows up and interrupts you or an accident happens, use it as an opportunity to practice virtue. ...

See your favorite cup for what it is, a cup. If your cup breaks, no one will care. Why should you? It is only a cup. See your wife and kids for what they are, humans. If your wife and kids, are returned back to Earth, most people in the world would not care. Why should you? They are only human. ...

Remove the habit of wanting something that is not in your control. Desire things in your control. Virtue. Avoid things that are in your control. Passions. ...

The things that are in your control are thoughts, perception, desire and aversion. The things that are not in your control are body, opinions of others, external things, death. Mind your own business, be able to say to things not in your control "You are by no means the real thing" ...

This other side of you is deceptive and gets what it wants. It silently takes control. It compels you, tempts you. But it is one of few things in life that is in your realm of control. You must attend to all things within your control and say to things outside your control "it is so." ...

You 2.0: In the Heat of the Moment There have been a lot of studies that shows that we poorly predict how we'd respond when in a hot state. Women said they would confront sexist, inappropriate remarks but when put in that exact situation rarely did. Not only that, we also downplay past experiences in our head. For example, a man tried to put his hand in ice for 1 minute. After 20 seconds, he gave up. Not long after, he proclaimed that the next time he would be able to do it. He did not succeed...

You've probably already heard the phrase, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It implies that stress and hardship paradoxically make you stronger (as long as you survive it). Stoics train for the ability to make calm, rational decisions at all times. To step back from the things that are forced upon you and view them without strong emotions requires emotional resilience. Just like your body's immune system, your emotional resiliency or psychological immune system only grows stronger wi...

This book is about the story of the Greek goddess Circe, daughter of Helios, the sun god. As a 'child' Circe was treated poorly by her siblings and her own parents. She was constantly an eyesore or the bud of the joke. She naturally finds her gifts in witchcraft not long before she is banished to island of Aeaea. There she lives by herself for centuries, carefully experimenting and improving in her craft. During this time you get a sense that shes finally able to blossom and discover herself. S...

In today's world, we're constantly under siege by external stimuli and other people's opinions. The internet allows us to connect and communicate on a large scale but staying engaged 24/7 has repercussions. This worry is why many, including myself, have found that waking up early in the morning when there are no distractions has become vital for navigating modern life. I had a routine of meditating and stretching in the mornings and reading books or articles. However, I noticed that I would fe...

I looked at some of the old pictures from Vietnam 2012. I'm grateful for having the family in Vietnam welcome me with love and showing me around. It reminded me of a time when I showed more appreciation for the things around me. It's on me now to start reaching out and rebuilding that connection with them. From Xuyen I learned how family is important and that I should spend more time working on keeping it together. From Phuong I learned how important it is to come into life with a big attitud...

When you wake up in the morning ask yourself, "was I born to be under the covers, hiding away from what is required of me?" The attitude you bring to your day sets out the tone of your morning which sets the tone of your afternoon and so on and so forth. Be aware of the attitude you have when you wake up. Contemplate the sage; what would the wise mentor or a future version of yourself say about how you're going about the morning? See every morning as a chance to live how you would ideally want...

It's important to live with a sense of purpose and direction. If none is there, ask yourself how much time do you spend thinking about what you want to do in life? How will you approach the next day? Initiating, executing and controlling your own actions in the world is the virtue of Agency. Building a sense of agency will ultimately lead to a fulfilling life. Making decisions might be hard, but never feeling like the captain of your own ship is harder. Indecisiveness is easy and safe but lik...

Perception Look at things in an objective manner; not deciding if it is right or wrong. Practice indifference for the things that deserve indifference. Keep a rational mind at all times. Action For the things within your control, act in a just manner. Act justly and respectfully to the people around you. Treat them how they deserve to be treated. Treat this person as they should be treated. Will For the things not within your control, realize that it can't hurt your inner character and ...