Click play: In the words of Steely Dan, where the hell am I? This shouldn't exist. I stopped hitting the decks in 2011, save some Nightfly-FM before graduation. 2015. So, what was I doing in 2017, mixing 80s pop-dance 12" 45s at 33 and slapping a "Vapor" label on it? My MacPlus phase was done in 2014, I found City Pop and it was all over. Where did I even set all this up in my Brooklyn apartment? Let's peel the onion. Layer 1: It's 2026. Vaporwave died... when? But here we are again. And "Fe...

Fundamentally the album is a pop pastiche of 80s thru 00s musical styles, where the entire historical style becomes condensed into an aesthetic of reference. In other words, a song will "sound like an early 90s rave track", without zeroing in on any specific quality of the period music. It's like it's turning "90s rave music" into a single point of interest that has its own aesthetic despite being a period with a lot of variety internally. However this is important to the album because this co...

If I told you the soul had walls, would you believe me? Walls, chambers, catacombs, a church and a palace, all this and more. But the greatest wall of all guards the soul's exterior, the border of the walled city, between certain life and certain death. What purpose has it but for defense? Against what? Why, against the invasion of pain. And so begins the onslaught, at first pinpricks, escalating into an encompassing force, the mighty wind. And, in an instant, the defenses fail. A flash of wh...

Put on the record. Whatcha got? "People. Yep. Come on." Rolling double speed hiphop beat. Deep undefined bass frequencies, sine wave. Brief looping melody, some sort of piano hit. Later on: organ hit, "Love is the message". Bring it back. Little breakdown later. Audience cheers. That's it. You might find yourself wondering "is that really it? Is that really all?" Yep. That's it. There's two kinds of scenes, early and late. Early on, you've got no clue. Later on, everything's a competition. T...

(Originally posted: Jan 24, 2019) Today we're going to discuss a recent favorite, fresh off a Moving Shadow dubplate from '94. Oh yes, you know what time it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tksVqvjRXb4 Jungle vibes? Turn it up a bit. "Open your mind and your eyes won't see me." What does this mean? Diva shouting over the abstract field of sound. The heat doesn't start until 1:45, but by that point you already know every element in the tune. Really, that's when they finished introducing the...

(Originally posted: December 2, 2018) I "SAW ruined the charts in the late 80s. This was the reason I got into alternative music." -- "Bathsheba", anonymous forum poster, July 16th, 2008. SAW? Not a band, but a production trio: Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. You haven't heard of them, but you've heard them. Let me explain: assume for a moment that you're a regular millennial internet user. Perhaps you've hit upon "You Spin Me Round". Seems like there's a whole cluster of songs that sound awfull...

(Originally posted: November 13, 2018) Good day for self-promo, give it a few minutes: I keep a folder of my old DJ mixes. I was most prolific in 2011, but they date back to 2008. High school. Messy transitions. Learning to tell right from left. In 2009, a surprise: early evidence of House, music a chasm apart from Happy Hardcore. Early evidence of taste? 2009 was the last time I'd play contemporary dance music. Around then, 30-something European DJs in IRC were evangelizing "Tech-House". T...

(Originally posted: November 9, 2018) Thesis: Trance. Antithesis: Drum N Bass. Synthesis: We found this magic CD in the MDMA mines and gave it to your 15 year old son. It grants him the power to annoy you forever. You'll hear it through the wall. Try tapping your foot 170 times a minute. The only dance move is "jump up & down & flail around". It'll clear the ballroom. Sucks for them. They could have a lot more fun if they put in some effort. Every song has the same structure. You ca...

(Originally posted: November 8, 2018) Try the whole album, but here's a starting point: It's hard to overstate. Take a kid with anger issues and get him some medicine. Who knew music could sound like this? I only found out when I copied the folder off the kid's brick of a hard drive. ParagonX9 on steroids. Trance makes you reach for the heavens. Drum N Bass takes you on a private 747. The kick and snare drums pummel you forward and the Earth wobbles beneath. Impossibly fast but it becomes n...

(Originally posted: November 6, 2018) Track 1: Track 2: I don't know where I got this stuff. Limewire? I'd probably found it on Ishkur's guide. I had a pile of MP3s on my iPod. Let's do a two for one. I showed my grandmother this stuff. Don't recall her reaction. "That's nice, dear" Gotta listen loudly. The kick does half the work. The rest is a wall of sound. Dense, but only because of reverb, delay, that sort of thing. Who puts delay on a bassline?! Mirrors make a room look big. But th...

(Originally posted: November 5, 2018) Click Play: Funny that. Never realized this early memory came from an album called "Who Needs Guitars Anyway?" I refused to consider "guitar music" until age 18. Same as always. I remember hearing this on my handheld FM radio, perched on the corner of my couch. FLY, 92.3. It was 9 at night, a weird, adult hour for a middle school kid. I'm embarrassed to this day. Alice Deejay! Girlish shlock! Yet, it stuck. God knows why. Formally, it has it all before...