Monday

Ug, what a drag. What was supposed to be a fun weekend with Matthew turned into a two day existential discussion. Middle age was getting to both of them. Neither had any regret or at least not many or major regrets, but there was a constant pull of the thought that it was time to change. Like a Sunday afternoon nap when you are deep in sleep and your body wants to stay that way but your mind keeps trying to wake up. Steven did not know how to process the feelings he had been having for a while. It was nice to chat with Matthew and discover that he was feeling the same pull to change. But, his visit was short and he was gone now. Philosophical conversations over long spans of time and space are never easy so Matthew was probably not going to be much help working through this phase. Steven had heard stories about midlife crises. He was not having a crisis, but he was feeling something. At times the feeling was light with hope for a future that he was setup to take advantage of and at times the feeling was dark because some part of his soul was not being stimulated.

Steve had his back to the door staring out the corner office window of his high rise when a voice broke through his thoughts. "Steven. Steven. Are you okay?" At first Steven's pull back to reality was slow like running in a dream responding to the sound, and then he snap to full attention when someone touched his shoulder. He spun his chair so fast that the hand slid from his shoulder to his face, but the hand only stayed there a moment because as he spun his legs kick out enough to catch the heeled feet of his assailant knocking her off balance and she promptly fell back landing solidly on the floor. "Samantha. What are you doing?" Steve said with a little more sternness than he felt. Sam just sat there for a moment knowing that trying to roll over to her knees while pulling her pencil skirt up enough to be able get her knees under her while wearing heels was not going to be as graceful as she preferred to be. So, she decided to sit for a moment and let things work them selves out before she did any yoga trying to get up. It is moments like these that she cursed the gods that designed the costumes women wear on a normal day.

"What am I doing?", Sam responded to match the sternness she received. "I am not the one staring out the window like I have encephalitis lethargica. I knocked three times on the partially open door, looked in and called your name. You did not respond. Wow, you must have had one hell of a weekend with that dou.. uh Matthew" She stopped herself from giving Matthew a pejorative name.

Still partially confused, Steven sighed, feeling the trance like state he was in burn off like smoke from a matched that just flared up and went out. Becoming fully aware of the situation, Steve jumps up and offers his hand to Sam to help her up. "Let me help you up." Steve said. "Hold up there Leonard." Giving a second reference to the movie Awakenings."You were gone, completely gone there for a moment. You are either on some heavy drugs, sleep deprived, or working out some tough stuff. I can either take you to the hospital, home, or listen for a few minutes. What is it going to be?" she says as she removes her shoes knowing they are going to have to come off when the time to get up comes.

Steven pauses, hand still outstretched. This is not a side of Samantha he has seen. She has been the best secretary he has ever had. Her background overqualified her for the job but in the interview she said that she needed "less stressful" work after her mothers death. Since he hired her she had taken a lot off his plate, but their conversations were always short and professional. Still a little confused, Steven sits down, "I am not on any drugs. I saw Matthew off at his jet at 8 last night and in bed by 10. So, that leave me with one option. How much time do you have?" With a smirk Sam replies "I work by the hour, I have all the time you want to pay me for." Matching the smirk, Steve throws back "I pay you a lot less than a therapist, so let's get started."

Sam retaliated "You get what you pay for."

"Good point, so let's get you back to the front desk where your proven skills are put to work."

Sam paused, looked him in the eyes, trying to pierce his thick shell, "I am pretty sure I don't have your answers but I can listen and it looked like you were looking out that window trying to find something."

"I don't know where to start."

"Let's start with what makes you happy."

After a long pause, Steven responded "I don't know. Or, maybe I should say, what has helped me be happy I worry wont continue to help me be happy."

The excitement Sam was feeling thinking about exploring Steven's mind quickly vaporized when he expressed the same concern that has plagued her since her mother's death. Sam slid her skirt up exposing her yoga firmed legs and popped up before Steven could even stand. She grabbed her shoes and headed out of the office. "Well, look at the time, I need to get back to my day job. Please schedule another session with my secretary."

Confused about what just happened, Steve hollers across the office to his quickly retreating secretary, "Thanks for waking me up, Dr. Sayer." Steven could see her pause just briefly mid step as she learned he had caught her references.

As the door closed Steven made a note to check with his secretary's secretary to see about getting another appointment...the sooner the better.