Prioritizing Husband or Wife before Parents

Prioritizing Husband or Wife before Parents

The first point shows, that a wife, or a husband must be the priority before parents. The examples of Leah and Rachel (Gen. 31:14), even of Michal (1 Sam. 19:11), are commendable in this respect.

The bond of marriage is more ancient, more firm, more near. There was husband and wife before there was parent and child, and there is a time when parents and children may depart from one another, and that while both live. But there is no time when man and wife may split apart till death parts them. Children, though they come from the flesh of their parents, are made two (so that of one are two) but husbands and wives, though they were two before, are made one (so that of two is one).

What wrong then do such parents do to their children, who keep them, even after they are married, under such subjection that they cannot freely perform such duty as they ought to their husband or their wife? This is an over-reach of a parent’s authority. Yet many think that their children owe as much service to them after they are married as before, which is directly against this law.

Greater is the wrong and more sinful is the practice of such who keep their children from their husbands or from their wives. The match (they say) falls out much worse than we looked for. But this should have been looked to more carefully beforehand. After marriage it is too late to seek such a solution.

On the other side, there are many children who so respect their parents, that they neglect their husband or their wife. Some husbands will give what they can to their parents, and keep their wives very poor, allowing them to lack necessities, not caring how they irritate and grieve them as long as they please their parents. Some wives also will privately steal from their husbands to give to their parents.

—William Gouge. Building a Godly Home Vol. 1 (Kindle Locations 2176-2190). Kindle Edition.