Man's Duty to Provide

IMAGINE, IF YOU WILL...

You are not financially providing enough for your family, with your current job. It just isn’t enough to sustain you. More than just a little tight. The situation is bad. Your basic material needs are not being met.

You know something needs to change.

There’s a hopeful prospect. There’s a job opening. But it’s in another city, in another province. You’ll have to uproot your family from where you are now, and move them to a new place, in order to provide for them. You’ll have to say goodbye to relatives and friends, your coworkers, classmates. It will be unfamiliar. You’ll have to adjust to life in a new community. It will be a challenge. It’ll be difficult, no doubt.

Is it a perfect employer? Is it a perfect job? Silly question. No job is perfect. That’s not the point. The point is, that work will take care of your and your family’s needs.

What do most people do in this circumstance? They make the move and take the job! Anything for the family. Men are supposed to provide. It’s important. It’s the priority. Even men without families make these moves. Anything for that provision.

Now, let’s change it up a bit.

Instead of financial provision, let’s make it spiritual provision. Instead of your material needs, let’s consider your spiritual needs. It’s not your job that isn’t providing, but your church. Even worse, your lack of a true church.

You are not spiritually providing enough for your family, with your current church. It just isn’t enough to sustain you. More than just a little tight. The situation is bad. The preaching is shallow, you cannot bet on hearing the Gospel every Sunday, or it’s downright false at times. There’s little Bible in the whole of public worship. And don’t even get started on what songs they are singing. You and your family aren’t shepherded well, either. There’s no regular, consistent pastoral care. You could miss a couple church services, and no one would care to ask if everything is alright. There’s no meaningful membership—come and go as you please, and visitors receive as many benefits as “members.” Nor is there church discipline—sin goes unchecked. Maybe there aren’t even multiple elders to do all these things!

Bottom line: your family’s basic spiritual needs are not being met.

You know something needs to change.

There’s a hopeful prospect. You know of a true church. But it’s in another city, in another province. You’ll have to uproot your family from where you are now, and move them to a new place, in order to provide for them. You’ll have to say goodbye to relatives and friends, your coworkers, classmates, and everyone in your current “fellowship.” It will be unfamiliar. You’ll have to adjust to life in a new community. It will be a challenge. It’ll be difficult, no doubt.

Is it a perfect church? Is it a perfect congregation? Silly question. No church is perfect. That’s not the point. The point is, that church will take care of your and your family’s needs.

Diligent use of the ordinary and outward means of grace, especially the reading and preaching of the Word, administration of the sacraments, and prayer. Formal church membership that means something: members have both rights, privileges, and responsibilities. The practice of church discipline: sin is corrected and wandering sheep are shepherded toward restoration. There’s a plurality of elders to oversee, govern, and shepherd the flock.

Bottom line: that true church, that gathers for true worship, and has true elders, will take care of your and your family’s needs. Just as Christ ordained. That’s where you will be provided for.

What do most people do in this circumstance?

They don’t make the move and don’t join that church! Anything for the family—except that.

• Just stay put. “Our friends are here.”
• Remain complacent. “Let’s not criticize the church.”
• Settle for less. “This church is good enough.”
• Make excuses. “Moving is just too hard.”

Funny how we don’t hear these lines when it’s a matter of getting superior financial provision.

A MATTER OF WORTH

Virtually every man is willing to do the hard things for a better job. Some even jump to moving to the big city as the first resort, when he doesn’t have to. Despite options where they live, they boldly declare, “There’s no work here, I have to move to [insert name of northern congested metropolis].”

It’s amazing the effort people make just for the possibility of better money.

It’s amazing the lack of effort people make for the sake of better spirituality.

Care for their bodies? Absolutely. Care for their souls? If convenient.

Virtually no man will do the hard things for a better church. Moving is not even the last resort—it’s no option at all. It’s incredible how fatalistic they act when there is no healthy church where they live. Reformed-sympathizers complain, “There’s no reformed church here.” The end. And they would not dream of moving (even to a better place to raise a family) “just for a church.”

Most move without hesitation for good work, but not for true worship. Most would no doubt uproot their family for better material benefits, but not for greater edification.

You know what that tells me? It’s a matter of worth. It’s about what people value. Which is clearly exposed by actions, more than words. Material provision for yourself and your family is important enough to require moving. In the case of securing a well-paying job, moving to another city or province is worth it.

But spiritual provision for yourself and your family is not important enough to require moving. In the case of finding a true church with pure worship—especially sound preaching—moving to another city or province is not worth it.

Thus, more effort is made for material provision. The amount of effort for spiritual provision is a reflection of how much it matters to you.

A MATTER OF DUTY

It’s a matter of natural revelation that men are providers, and husbands have a duty to provide for their wives, and fathers for their children. This is without question.

The matter I am addressing is how the unbelieving world, our society, has limited that duty to mere material provision—physical care, only. Bring home the cash, put food on the table. Duty fulfilled. And if that’s the whole of your duty as a provider, then abandoning your family for a job oversees for months or years at a time is justified by that money you deposit in the bank (but that’s for another blog post).

Of course every individual, including unmarried men and women, have the duty to preserve and promote their own life (6th Commandment).

The big question that needs answering is: is provision limited to just the material?

The big answer is no. We are not merely physical beings, so we have more than physical needs. Even non-Christians may have heard that “man shall not live on bread alone.”

Thus your duty for yourself includes spiritual care. The duty of husbands and fathers to provide includes the means of spiritual life.

The draft of this blog post was sitting for over a month when I came across affirmation from that great Westminster divine and pastor, William Gouge:

In this provident care which a husband ought to have of his wife, we will consider the extent and duration of it. It ought to extend both to herself, and to others; regarding herself, to her soul and body.

For her soul, means of spiritual edification must be provided, and those both private and public. . .

Public means are the holy ordinances of God publicly performed by God’s minister. The care of a husband for his wife in this respect is so to order his place of residence, and provide other needed things, that his wife may be made partaker of it. . . Now there are many houses of God, places for the public worship of God, but yet through the corruption of our times, the ministry of the Word (the most important means of spiritual edification) is not everywhere to be enjoyed. Therefore such ought a husband’s care for his wife in this respect to be, as to dwell where she may have the benefit of the preaching of the Word, or else so to provide for her, as she may weekly go where it may be had.

If men of wisdom and ability purchase or build a house for their residence, they will be sure it shall be where sweet rivers and waters are, and good pasture ground, and where all necessary provision may be had. God’s Word preached is a spring of water of life; the place where it is preached a pleasant, profitable pasture; all necessary provision for the soul may there be had. Let this therefore be most of all sought after, and no residence settled but where this may be had. . .

If for lack of means, either public or private, a wife lives and dies in ignorance, profaneness, unbelief, and unrepentance, which cause eternal damnation, surely her blood shall be required at his hands, for a husband is God’s watchman to his wife (Ezek. 3:18).

—William Gouge, Building a Godly Home vol. 2: A Holy Vision for a Happy Marriage, 238–240.

Why am I addressing this in the first place? Because we face the same corruption in our times: though there are “churches” everywhere, the ministry of the Word is not everywhere. If you could find pure preaching everywhere, no Christian would have to give a thought to were they lived. Sadly, many churches don’t deserve the name.

Don’t deny that there are false churches, corrupt churches, and true churches. All “churches” are not equal. And it is your duty to diligently discern what the true church is—where you will find the pure preaching of the Word, the pure administration of the sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s Supper, and church discipline. More than that, particular churches “are more or less pure, according as the doctrine of the gospel is taught and embraced, ordinances administered, and public worship performed more or less purely in them” (Westminster Confession of Faith 25.4).

In our context, pure worship and especially preaching cannot be found in every place. Just like sufficient employment cannot be found in every place—except much worse. Imagine if there were as few good-paying jobs as there are good-preaching churches. Families would be dying left and right. But if you are willing to relocate in the case of one, but not the other, then you need to examine yourself as to why. Maybe it’s because starving spiritually isn’t as real as starving physically.

Some Christians may be providentially hindered, meaning it truly is out of their control. But far more claim to be. How many truly exhaust all lawful means to remedy the situation? Phrases like “no choice” and “it’s impossible” are used far too loosely, when it simply is not true. What they really mean is “costly choice” and “it’s very difficult.” And unless all of those left-out believers are men called to preach and/or plant a church, then some of them are going to have to relocate to join an established church. Simple as that.

Every one of you who claim Jesus as Lord have a duty to assemble with the church for public worship and diligently use the means of grace.

Every husband has the duty to bring his wife to assemble with the church for public worship and diligently use the means of grace.

Every father has the duty to bring his children to assemble with the church for public worship and diligently use the means of grace.

You are less than a provider if you have not secured “all necessary provision for the soul.” Indeed, because of your position as head of the household, you are held accountable for those under your authority.

And for all you unmarried men: don’t presume you’ll be willing to do the hard thing later, if you are making a habit of complacency now.

The duty is nothing new. The corruption of the times is nothing new. We are no exception. The Philippines is not special. Mind you, it was much harder back then in the 17th century to move to another part of the country. We have it comparatively easy.

Thus the pastoral exhortation:

• A man’s duty to provide includes public means of spiritual edification.
• Go live where you can get the pure preaching of the Word and holy ordinances.
• Do not settle down where there is no true preaching of the Word.

In short, some of ya’ll need to pack your bags and move.