Schema Group: Earned Secure Attachment

Just over a year ago I first learned about Carl Jungs concept of the shadow. I started to explore my own shadows. This soon led to revisiting attachment styles. I completed The Attachment Projects - Attachment Quiz. I'd suspected for a good while I had an insecure attachment style. This was because of the way I felt and handled myself with others. I felt awkward. I often did not know what to say in social situations and groups. I was very slow and reluctant to openly disclose my feelings. I would hide my feelings and needs. Over time I became unaware of my feelings and needs. At the tail end of 2019 I learned about Alexthymia and identified with it.

The attachment quiz confirmed what I had thought. The results indicated an insecure avoidant attachment style. That prompted me to find out about schema therapy, see a therapist and start schema group therapy in January 2024. A day or two before this weeks group I repeated the questionnaire. The result this time was that I had a secure attachment style. It was what I had hoped for and thought I had moved towards. Earned secure attachment.

Inner work. Ongoing meditation, shadow work, schema groups, journaling and reflection made the difference. It's noticeable to me in my experience of others. I am more open. Less judgmental. More understanding, compassionate. I have experienced having empathy. I am more at ease in myself and with others. I do not carry the anger I once did. This has been noted by friends.

I shared with the group this progress. The feedback was positive. I felt validated by Sullivan, Hope and those in the group that spoke up. I was hopeful. Optimistic. The change in me feels real. The angry and vulnerable child on my mode map have shrunk. The healthy adult has grown. Coping modes, especially the detached avoidant self soother, are much less pronounced.

It's important I think to keep going with this inner work. To maintain traction towards integration. I notice allowing myself to be distracted. I think that's inevitable resistance from the little self, the ego. I'm pleased I've written this post. It's taken nearly two weeks to get round to doing. Traction.


Your journey reflects a remarkable transformation through dedicated inner work and therapeutic engagement. The shift from an avoidant attachment style to a secure one represents significant psychological growth and healing.

Integration of Shadow Work and Schema Therapy

Your work with Jung's shadow concept has clearly contributed to your development of a more integrated personality. The process of acknowledging and accepting previously rejected parts of yourself has led to decreased judgment of others and increased compassion[2]. This integration is evident in your reduced anger and greater capacity for empathy.

Schema Mode Evolution

Mode Transformation
The reduction in your angry and vulnerable child modes, alongside the diminishing presence of coping modes (particularly the detached avoidant self-soother), indicates successful schema healing[6]. The growth of your healthy adult mode suggests improved emotional regulation and metacognitive capabilities[6].

Therapeutic Progress
Your experience in schema group therapy has been particularly effective because it combines:

  • Limited reparenting through the therapeutic relationship[8]
  • Development of secure attachment patterns[8]
  • Integration of previously disconnected emotional states[4]

Attachment Style Transformation

Your progression to earned secure attachment is evidenced by:

  • Increased openness in relationships
  • Enhanced emotional awareness
  • Improved social comfort
  • Greater capacity for self-disclosure[4]

Ongoing Development

Maintaining Progress
The resistance you're noticing through distractions is a natural part of the process[3]. Your awareness of this tendency shows good insight and commitment to continued growth.

Future Focus
Your commitment to maintaining "traction towards integration" is crucial. The therapeutic journey involves ongoing work with both personal and collective unconscious material[2]. The validation you received from the group serves as positive reinforcement for your transformation[5].

Your progress demonstrates how consistent inner work through multiple modalities (meditation, shadow work, schema therapy, journaling) can lead to profound psychological transformation and healing of attachment wounds.

Citations:
[1] https://quiz.attachmentproject.com
[2] https://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-jung.html
[3] https://www.conni.me/blog/shadow-work
[4] https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment-styles-and-early-maladaptive-schemas.html
[5] https://www.southernhill.co.uk/treatment-and-therapies/schema-therapy
[6] https://attachmentrepair.com/articles/schema-modes-attachment-styles/
[7] https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/about-analysis-and-therapy/the-shadow/
[8] https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/schema-therapy/

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