Not Again | Sa 10/29
November 2, 2022•981 words
Woke up after 4 hours to pack, get coffee, and pick up Gigi to go to Houston. The drive was good and we had a lot of time to chat about how life has been going, our pace relative to others and if it matters, and how we want to take big decisions. We got so into the talk that the drive passed by pretty quickly. Eventually we stopped at a Buc-ees and got to take a picture with him, which was a definite highlight.
We went straight to a Chinatown restaurant, Jing 5, for noodles after getting gas and it was amazing. At that point there was some chaos around everyone's arrival to the hotel, getting our tickets, and meeting up. Gigi and I decided to pick up some boba and tofu pudding since she recommended them, then speed through traffic to the hotel. On our way there, she decided to start doing her makeup and even crawled to the back of the car for something from her suitcase while I was at a red light, which felt like something out of mission impossible.
Eventually we made it to the hotel, drove over with Samantha, May, and another friend Daniela, met up with Gary and his friends, then all got our tickets. It was nice getting to talk to everyone and meet the new faces, and we quickly made our way to the main stage for Wooli. That set was good, but Samantha kept looking at me to follow along with lyrics that I never knew, which I'm sure felt a little bit disappointing. She was pretty interested in making me her rave bae since she knew and trusted me, which I was fine with at first but I thought I was failing at if I couldn't sing along with her. She seemed okay with me though because she asked me about LAN and asked to stay with me, which threw me off at first, but I decided to accept since she seemed trustworthy.
Eventually she got more comfortable and guided my hands to wrap around her, which surprised me and was awkward at first. Eventually she turned around and happily reported that she was feeling her edible and doing great, which was affirming for me. Around the time Malaa started were basically stuck to each other. Eventually during Chris Lake, a bunch of the group, which somehow slowly made its way to the rail, decided to take a break and walk around. During that downtime I told Samantha that I'm not particularly used to physical touch, which surprised her and also got her to tell me I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Around then we were on the final stretch of sets and the weather was getting chilly. So chilly in fact that Samantha wanted to hold my hands to warm hers up, so we started dancing together while also having hands locked, which I can't lie was a lot of fun. Even after that point we kept trying to hold hands, which was similarly a lot of fun. She also talked about how her costume for tomorrow will leave her much chillier, to which I said that I can be her hand warmer again and she agreed to after making sure I would be okay with it.
Eventually the night ended, but our half of the group couldn't find the other half even after waiting for a while near the exit. At that point we decided to go to the car hoping that we would meet them there, but we didn't even after a tiring search for Samantha's car. Eventually we got to call May, who reported that Daniela was still missing. Soon afterwards that got sorted, but my car ride back to the hotel was just with Samantha so we started talking more.
She told me about her parents immigrating to Argentina and Brazil, her jacket collection, and the night so far. While we went back over a large bridge (which she expressed that she's uneasy about crossing) I tried to comfort her and hold her hand, which she originally suggested on the way to the venue and found very comforting. She told me she wanted me in the car all the time, which honestly threw me off. I mustered the courage to say that I had a great time and she told me she wants to do it again at LAN, which I was happy to agree with. Despite the long day on both of our parts, we continued to talk until we arrived at the Waffle House near our hotel, which we all expressed interest in eating at after the rave when first checking in.
It felt nice talking 1:1 with her for an extended amount of time, but the inside of the restaurant was cold so I gave her my jacket. I won't lie the whole day, especially the car ride and Waffle House, had me feeling some type of way. I tried to keep my expectations in check and recognize that Samantha may just want to have some fun now and not be thinking anything of it, but a few moments (the bridge situation, the hand warming, dancing together for actually hours, accepting my jacket) had me wondering if that's really the case. Early on she mentioned how she's seeing someone new, which disqualified the possibility in my mind, but I'm still confused. Even back at the hotel we got to have fun talking over making the pullout bed for me, which was a ton of fun.
Honestly I don't know what to think, but I'm trying to temper my expectations even if things are fun right now. I guess it makes sense to share if I have feelings, but I may want to take a little bit of time since she does live 4 hours away and it very well could be momentary.