May 9, 2022•2,571 words
Dear Grade 10 students,
Here are some examples of your responses to the extra task 3 work done in class, with my feedback.
Good use of a real example (Chris)
Greetings to all the members of the board.
I am applying to present a talk about the importance of art for the upcoming youth conference, Titled "The role of art in developing empathy for people and groups who live lives that are different to your own". The subject that I would cover in this is how art can help develop empathy for people in different situations. I would focus mainly on real-world examples, such as how bands like Nirvana donated all of their proceeds from concerts to charities and to help causes, like when Nirvana held a benefit show to help the Bosnian rape victims in 1993. The role of art in this case is how the band uses their music to generate revenue to donate to a group of people who were different from them. Nirvana ended up generating $50,000 in revenue and donating it to the cause. This type of event represented through art is definitely a way of showing empathy towards people in different circumstances. If I were to speak in the youth conference, I would bring up this particular example because I find it impressive how a group known for making "grunge" music can generate so much for an amazing cause that really helped people. In fact, the lead guitarist and frontman for Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, was a feminist, and stood up for women's rights. Cobain even told homophobes and anti-feminists to "stay away from his concerts", and to "not buy any Nirvana records". This was also big because Nirvana's music was popular among punks, and a younger audience, and since the band had a cult-like following, Cobain's behavior rubbed off on Nirvana listeners. Again, a good example of empathy through an art form like music.
Please take my application into consideration for the upcoming youth conference. Thank you for your time.
Mr. Carlier: the above could do with more of a structure in sections, but it does illustrate how using 1) a real example that 2) you, writer, really know something about, can be persuasive.
Good explanation of argument
Good use of personal examples (Anupriya)
Art is an important element of modern society but what is more important than art itself is the role it plays and the message it communicates. Since art is something that every culture promotes and appreciates, everyone has the capability to understand the emotions being portrayed whether it be a piece of literature, music dance or even visual arts. Therefore art plays an important role in developing empathy for people who live different lives than us.
A personal example of having felt empathetic emotions through a piece of art was when I read David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. The novel is about a boy who has faced so much misery in life from having an abusive step-father to a toxic school environment and living in poor conditions of London in the 1800s that you cannot stop yourself from shedding tears. Having had no clue about the history of England or anything about the culture, the novel still succeeded in making me feel as if I was experiencing the terrible situations just like the protagonist of the novels. Although my life and my experiences have been completely different than the one portrayed in the novel, with the help of the novel, I could imagine what it must've been like to have gone through those miserable times.
Another example of having experienced a sense of empathy for people whose lives are completely different than mine is when I watched a Bollywood movie called "Taare Zameen Par" which tells the story of a young boy struggling with dyslexia especially because there is not much awareness of Dyslexia among his parents or his teachers.
Mr. Carlier: I really like how the first paragraph clearly outlines the issue in argument. This response illustrate that using personal examples can be effective for task 3. This piece is missing some of the genre conventions; there aren't too many indications that this is a proposal of any kind. To resolve this, I would maybe address the target audience (Board members of youth conference), mention the title and the event and explain what you're proposing to do.
Good division of separate arguments and counter argument (Illian)
The role of art in developing empathy for people and groups who live lives that are different to your own.
I think that violence in films plays a role in developing empathy for people and groups. I am for this statement and will prove this by giving the following arguments.
the first reason why I think it develops empathy is that people who watch those violent films will know what is right and wrong. Based off these scenes they now what the appropriate approach is to certain things. For instance, there is a conflict in a movie and the person get's mad and kills the other person. When people see this they will know violence should not always be the answer teaching them a lesson.
Secondly, I think that when people see violent movies it might make them more grateful as they are not living in such a situation. This might also teach them a lesson to be more grateful and realise that they are in a better place than those people in the movie which will make them a better person.
An argument against this is that young people should not be exposed to such things at a young age. However, it gives them a good idea on what is right and wrong at a young age which is crucial. This is because the later they learn this the harder it is to adapt to that idea, and if you teach them young they will now from a young age onwards.
Mr. Carlier: I like how this piece introduces a clear structure/subdivision to the argument, and I like that Illian has thought of a counter-argument. To improve, this piece would clearly benefit from some real life examples, and there needs to be a little more indication that this is a proposal for a speech.
The next one does a good job setting the right tone of a proposal (Rushil). It also introduces a relevant example. To improve, it would benefit from more than one example. You could also make up some authentic sounding facts about the event itself, and why you are interested in being a speaker there.
Dear Members of the Board,
I would like to come over to the youth conference to talk about how the role of art can develop empathy for people and groups who live lives that are different to your own.
At least once in our lives, we have heard about people who have an injury that can affect the rest of their lives. For example, when I was around the age of 12, we had to read a book called "Who's life is it anyway". This book showed us how difficult it was for a man to survive the rest of his life after becoming a quadriplegic. I was aware that people who have had an injury can really affect the rest of their life, but after reading this book, I was more aware of how tough it can be for them to get back to their original state.
For example, with the quadriplegic in the book "Who's life is it anyway", we found out that the main character would not be able to move on his own for the rest of his life. The patients' mental state was so low and it caused him to think about suicide. For me, as a reader, I realised that since it was a non-fictional book, someone has actually been through all this pain and has considered taking euthanasia.
Personally, I think that exposing these children to the problem of euthanasia and empathy is really important, especially if they are exposed to it early on in their lives because this speech can be a lesson they can use for their entire lives. Please consider my proposal!
This response (Julie) does a good job of presenting a balanced structure in proposal form. I like that it ends with a 'to summarise' section. To improve, the third example would need to be developed a bit more, and maybe counter-arguments considered.
Dear people on the board
I would like to give a speech at your youth conference. I would like to do this speech concerning the topic of: "The role of art in developing empathy for people, and groups who live lives that are different to your own." I will be for this statement. I want to give this speech to the youth convention because it is important that young people learn about empathy early on, so they can live life with a positive attitude, and treating everyone fairly.
My first piece of art I will use to strengthen the motion is the movie, The Schindlers list by Steven Spielberg. This movie is an incredibly important tool for teaching about empathy. We learn excruciating details about The Holocaust that some might not have known. The perspective is omniscient so we get all the facts. I think this would be a great art to talk about as when I watched The Schindlers list, it evoked a strong empathy in me that was extremely powerful.
The second piece of art I would like to discuss is the book The Hate You Give, written by Angie Thomas. This book would really shape the idea of empathy for many people who do not experience, or know about these issues. The theme of this book is police violence. The main characters friend is murdered by a police officer. There is a lot of talk about racial based violence, which, unfortunately is still very relevant to this day. If we are able to make these young people feel empathy, and educate them on struggles people of colour go through, it will be a great benefit to society, as we will hopefully see a decrease. Injustice has no place in our future.
The last piece of art I would like to talk about in my speech to the youth conference is the book David Copperfield, written by Charles Dickens.
To summarise, I would love to give this speech as it would benefit these peoples minds. As they are still young, they might have a more open mind. It would not only lead to people getting treated better, but also to a more equal society. Any step is major. Art can encourage people transform their thoughts and imagination to the real life meaning.
Finally, this piece (Mahroosh) combines a lot of the good qualities mentioned above: an argument structure and related subdivision, good use of unique, original examples, a clear proposal in tone. I think it would maybe benefit from some kind of concluding statement (what do you hope will happen next? how can they contact you?). I liked the reminder that Squid Game, while graphically violent, addresses the real world issue of debt.
“The role of art in developing empathy for people and groups who live lives that are different to your own”.
I am reaching out to apply for presenting a talk about the importance of art and how it creates empathy for people and groups whose lives are different to our own. I would be delighted to have this talk at the youth centre and these are the ideas that I would be incorporating in it.
Firstly, We will discuss the role of art and what it includes to help everyone understand my title. I will discuss examples of different types of art which include movies, books, visual art pieces, music and more. Then I will propose the idea of how art is intertwined in creating empathy for people in different ways.
First example: I will discuss the movie "Taare Zameen per", a Hindi movie made about a child who struggles with a learning disability that his parents are not good at dealing and understanding with so send the child to a boarding school to better his attitude and skills of learning. There he meets a teacher who gives this child the support to learn in his own way that does not restrict him to only books but yet encourages more physical and visual learning like art. His relationship with his teacher also helps him develop his writing and other skills. This story will be my first example as I can speak about the impact this movie had on me from a young age where I did not know that people had problems with learning. This art piece which is a movie is a great example of how art creates empathy towards the struggles of people who some might not be aware of and helps create empathy and knowledge to go in life and be patient with others. This movie is a good example of people of all ages being more aware and empathizing with groups of people whose lives are different to mine and some others.
Second Example: I will talk about another example of an art piece that creates empathy which is the quite recent and highly popular series Squid Game. This is a series with a high level of violence that shows the lives of people in South Korea and the struggles of being poor and desperate. This show though very explicit creates a high level of empathy for people who do not live in situations and places where they can not escape and get desperate for solutions that will help them in any way. The underlining meaning of this show critiques capitalism and its effects of people who are unfortunately not able to meet its standards. This art form, though complex creates a very de level of empathy for people who have no idea of the lives that people are destined to live due to their circumstances and living conditions.
Though arguments for some art pieces do not create empathy as it's not their purpose is true some argue that art has a dangerous role in which it affects people to empathize with the wrong things or that they will not understand the reasons they should empathize with certain things. I believe this is not a good argument as this fact in real life is quite the same as people trying to make you empathize with them through manipulation tactics and other dangerous ways. ARt forms portraying these instances can help people learn about the people that they should empathize with and the ones they shouldn't. Another reason I do not think this is a good argument is that some will not understand the underlying meanings of why people are sympathizing with some art pieces for example Squid Game which is difficult to understand for some who may be too young, there are obvious age restrictions mentioned as well as the people outlaying art or media and explaining its underlying meanings. People will be faced with the same situations in life and having art that depicts that for us helps us to differentiate the people that are ok to empathize with from the ones that are not.