Desert Descriptive Writing

I finally managed to spot the first sign of life, of vegetation, throughout my entire journey in the dessert. The sun started to set as the temperature slowly began to decrease. There were many clouds dispersed in the blue sky, blocking the sun from keeping me warm. I could feel the hard ground off the bottom of my feet, dry. When I looked at the horizon, I realised that there was no one else here. No animals, nothing. The only audible sound was the sound of the air, gently grazing my face.

• Use more of the 5 senses
• Good use of image
• Can use more details from image
• Include smilies, metaphors
• More extensive vocabulary