Emotional Intelligence VII: When NOT To Go To War
As Elayne, Nynaeve and Egwene contemplate their task of hunting down the Black Ajah, Elaida Sedai, Queen Morgase's former advisor, interrupts them, eager for details on their exploits.
"The two of you," Elaida went on in a casual tone, "vanish, taking with you the Daughter-Heir of Andor - the girl who may become Queen of Andor one day, if I do not strip the hide off her hide and sell it to a glove maker - vanish without permission, without a word, without a trace."
"I was not carried off," Elayne said to the floor. "I went of my own will."
"Will you obey me, child?' A glow surrounded Elaida. The Aes Sedai's glare was fixed on Elayne. "Must I teach you, here and now?"
Elayne raised her head, and there was not mistaking what was in her face. Anger. For a long moment she met Elaida's stare.
Elaida Sedai and Elayne,The Dragon Reborn, p. 156
Even reading it, you can feel the tension build to a snapping point. Elayne very nearly lets her old habits of being the Daughter-Heir in the court of Andor rule her actions in a place where she is no different than an innkeeper's daughter. Elaida's position is well fortified, backed up with the One Power. For Elayne to attempt anything aggressive in her anger would be virtual suicide. Never attack an entrenched position; philosophical or literal. That email written with emotions flying off the handle may feel amazing in the moment, but once it's sent, you've committed yourself to a war that's probably not worth it. In the end, needed relationships will be damaged, sometimes beyond repair, and the unity of the organization suffers.
Egwene's fingernails dug into her palms. It was maddening. She, or Elayne, or Nynaeve, could destroy Elaida where she sat. If they caught Elaida by surprise, at least; she was fully trained, after all. And if we do anything but take whatever she wants to feed us, we throw everything away. Don't throw it away now, Elayne.
Egwene, The Dragon Reborn, p. 156
Take the emotion out of it and maneuver around.