Today,

I feel old or maybe I should have said older.
My lower back is stiff and aches.
I still long to roller skate but I have responsibilities.
I don't hate them but I know I must honour them and complete them to a good standard.
I just wonder where I am when I am completing them. What am I to do as I carry out my responsibilities to people?
As I take care and guard people close to me, am I too sit here idlily waiting?
Part of me knows she is safe but I still wonder if I should be at close reach, at close distance. Am I to keep a close distance?
I see some of my friends with younger mentalities some which I still have and it frustrates me. How sometimes we can't see our own flaws. It is why I am grateful to Adonai cause He points it out to me, pushes me to be who I was always meant to be and to be better.
I think fear in some way still has or maybe I let its wrap its hand around me. I noticed it when i am meeting/talking to people. I am not scared but my physical body reacts as if I am.
Most days I don't follow a single path but I visit multiple places mentally. I am always running mentally and sometimes physically.

Things I want to do:

• start a youtube channel,
• be braver
• read my bible more.

-Sapphire

PS I really love this community of strange mix of people! It is so cool I think.