16. jan. 2026

This will hopefully be a reset on my end.
Things have been running in the same cycle for years now, but things have been forced into reset.
And so i will talk about whatever i need to talk about.
I am not a writer nor will i ever be so don't expect any grammor :)

She has really been telling me for a long time that i needed to stop what i was doing. She used this really nice description; "You will get to see the view too someday, but you are very stubborn and insist on walking backwards, up the mountain, with like six backpacks and scuba flippers. of course it difficult."
She is very good at painting picture, literally and figuratively. She might be the closest thing we can get to angels.
I am far from religious, but i worship this person with every inch of my being. I talk to my friends about her a lot and they describe our friendship as the slowest slow burn they have ever witnessed. They keep telling me to just make a "move", but i treasure what we have at the moment, and want anything but to ruin it. She says that she is just as depended to me as I am to her, as we once put it "Whatever this is, is a long distance symbiotic dependency". Our wellbeing's decline when we are not around each other, we feel each others feelings before we tell each other about them, when one of us spends the night in the others dream, the other tend to not dream at all or not remember since we were busy in the others dream. We like to call this "Cosmic connection insert glitter", Because we feel connected on a whole different plane of existence.
I made a promise to her and her to I. We will stay as long as the other stays. It's a fuck ass hard promise to keep, but i am loyal to her like a knight to their queen. So i keep it.
We like to come up with silly stories to better understand and proces our mental conflicts and struggles. One of which we write physical letters to each other, continuing the story from our own pov's. In this story she is trapped in a shuttle spacecraft (we are both big star trek fans lol) orbiting Mercury trying to get the shuttle to operate again. I am stuck on the surface of Mercury after crash-landing there after i was shot down by a solar storm. I dont remember who i am or why I'm there. At first we had managed to contact each other with our communication devices. We spent a bit of time trying to make sense of it all, but after a solar storm hit the shuttle, she had gone radio silent for a while, while I was on the surface trying not to go mad from heat educed delusions and the ever present amnesia. After she had gotten her bearings again she had sent down a probe to the surface that was on the shuttle. So we could communicate through the probe (we imagined it worked a lot like a fax machine lol). Rn our characters are just starting to figure out who each other is, after depending on the other for so long.

I think that's all i have to ramble about for now. Not sure how much I'm gonna use this blog, but so far it been fun.

• Sincerely from the deepest pits of the Void :)