Climbing

My friend needed help. His landlord's freehold agent is being an arse.

I got involved a bit , just helping him draft emails to relevant parties. That's what it looks like to my friend. For me, it's been a few hours reviewing the Renters' Rights Act, leasehold and freehold rules, and getting my head around the Tenant Fees Act. I find myself getting sucked back into the world of advocacy.

It comes from a place of lower volume, but it's a thread I need to be aware of. It seems when one starts, another begins to knit.

Getting passionate about Talk Club, I find myself studying the training packs, reviewing safeguarding and operational policy, exploring ways to efficiently capture my group's wellbeing scores. All with an internal desire to impress the wider organisation, to get that validation.

Listening to other captains at meetings, it's clear people get disappointed when others don't attend the groups. The question "Do men really need this?" doesn't enter the fray. Instead, I hear failure, the "waste of time".

As someone with experience of no‑shows at martial groups, I get how this kicks at the ego. "I am here to offer something, why don't people want it?" When those questions aren't answered, self‑blame seeps in.

It's evident my analytical mind loops me back into a thread I'm attempting to let go of. One begets another. How do I put a halt to the loom of my mind that constantly wants the world to be a better place? How can I accept that whatever I contribute will never truly be seen, as others are so dug into their own frameworks?

Perhaps, with these insights, I am climbing out of my own hole.