As of writing this sentence, it has been 2 days since I have flown from Boston back to my home state. For the last six weeks, I was at a math summer camp named PROMYS. If you look at their front page, you might be able to pick me out from the hundred or so people on the group photo. This marks the third year that I've been at PROMYS. This program has altered the path of my life, and I am infinitely grateful for its existence and for my acceptance. I am also incredibly thankful towards all the people I have met through PROMYS. They've been a wonderful help in my life, in one way or another.

This year, I was a Junior Counselor. It's somewhere between a student and a counselor, though we're much closer to being students than counselors. There have been many instances of first years asking me what exactly JC's do. I simply shrugged and smiled in response. I've been told that we're supposed to be role models of some kind. I hope I've been a good role model.

I'm using my photos as an aid for remembering what happened. I've been pretty terrible at taking photos of important moments in my life, and I've been trying to change that. I think I've definitely gotten better over PROMYS. Anyways, events, in hopefully chronological order:

Week 1:

I arrived before the students did, on June 30th. I helped do some chores, learned about some JC secrets, sat with counselors during meals and listened to them talk about math, sat through a 5 hour long introductory meeting. There was a lot of leftover food from the first meeting, and we brought them back to the dorms for communal eating. Among them included one half of a watermelon. We, the JC's, went to Star Market, which was the only thing open after 10pm but before 11pm. We bought cling film and markers and paper for the watermelon and door signs for everyone. The next day was move-in, and I tried my best to talk to as many first years in line as they waited through the check-in line, populated with students from other summer programs at Boston University. There was a Kevin (who I am told is the male version of a Karen) who demanded to talk to my manager about the line, which was becoming so long that it was unsafe, as it went down several escalators and out the front door. It was a very scary experience. That night, we recruited some people to play Fish (also called Literature) with us. I ate the half of the watermelon while we played Fish. M learned Fish for the first time, which I find quite astonishing, considering that she was a second year and Fish was a PROMYS staple (at least in my book). H asked me if I was going to eat the rind of the watermelon, stating that it helps you think better. Perhaps I should have eaten part of the rind that day.
On Fourth of July, the entire program went to BU Beach, a park by the Charles River. They shot fireworks from boats on the river every Fourth of July. The clouds hung low that day, and we could only see half of the fireworks. It was still very pretty though, seeing the colors light up the clouds. There were some people behind me, saying "MIT is right there! Can't they blow the clouds away or something?"
There are three advanced seminars each year for the returning students to take. I ended up choosing Primes and Zeta along with Modular Forms. The two classes were basically opposites of each other. Primes was a very problem-set driven class, and we spent the first class talking about important issues in math like mathematical microaggressions. That became quite the inside joke for everyone throughout the program. Anyways, it was a fun class in analytic number theory where I also got scarred for life from "the issue of convergence." Modular Forms, on the other hand, was very lecture-driven. You learned things in lecture and the problem sets sort of reinforce it. Modular Forms itself is a very difficult class, and the professor helped us get through the problem sets by essentially holding our hand through every problem, placing a hint in every problem. I am of the belief that Modular Forms was not a very well-structured class, and that a more accessible topic should be taught to high schoolers. I don't think I have the mathematical maturity to appreciate all of it, at least. I'll definitely consider taking it in the future, and I think the exposition that the PROMYS advanced seminar has given me would serve me well in that class. I met N, a first year who took Primes with us. He's very smart. He knows a lot of math. Not to say that that's all of his personality (because N is truly a great person), but that's really the first thought I have when I think N.
At the end of the first week, we went out on a walk over the weekend by the Charles. It was very nice. I remember talking about horror movies.

Week 2:

I have pictures of us exploring the upper levels of the Center for Data Science and Computing, an architectural marvel at BU better known as "Jenga" for the way the building looks like an oversized blocks stacked sort of precariously stacked on top of each other, with weird lines through it. There are some nice aesthetic corners to work in with amazing views, but I much prefer taking over a classroom with lots of desk space and most importantly a chalkboard. I think this was the week where I stayed up to 4am working on a problem set, because I told myself that I had to understand how to do a problem. That was really unhealthy. That was when I started to spiral into the same dark well I spiral in every time PROMYS happens. I start comparing myself to everyone else, and I tell myself that I must put in more and more effort in order to catch up with everyone (a sentiment that I still feel very often). Over the weekend, we went to Muji. When I first went to Muji last year, I was baited into believing that it was a large Japanese stationery store and I was very disappointed to find that stationery only occupied like a fifth of the store. This year, the stationery section was even smaller! There was one type of mechanical pencil for sale and I was very disappointed. I did end up buying a 3-pack of notebooks (with nice thick notebook paper, just the way I like it) because it was on sale. We also fooled around with some stamps and I stamped myself with Japanesey things because I want the whole world to know that I'm a weeb, but in a good way. Melville Lounge, a place in our dorms that was historically reserved for PROMYS kids only, opened to the general summer program population, and my friends and I visited the place. We didn't stay there for long though, because "the tables are sticky." I wish I could've worked in Melville for longer, because I didn't care much about the tables being sticky, but alas I went with my friends. We also had a field trip to the MIT Museum. That was very fun. I spent the last half hour or so staring at an art exhibit (I do want to write a more pensive piece about the paperflies). It was just circular pieces of paper that vaguely resembled butterflies flutter up and down with the motion of the thin metal stilts that held them up. It was beautiful.

Week 3:

Professor Henry Cohn has had a very troubled history with bananas originating from when he was very young. In recent years, it's become a PROMYS tradition to harass the poor man with bananas. This year marked the formation of the PBC (PROMYS Banana Council), spearheaded by some Promys (I've given up capitalizing every letter) Circles kids. They left approximately 8ⁿ bananas in morning lecture, where n is the amount of days they've been threatening Henry. This rate of growth is rather large, and thankfully Henry caved on day 3 (Yes, they really bought 500+ bananas). I can't believe that I had the opportunity to witness the monumental moment of Henry taking a bite of his first banana in like 50 years. I suppose 2023 is special. It rained a lot this week. I did not bring an umbrella, and now I know what it's like to be fully drenched. There was a sunny day, though, and we ended up outside for class, because the a-(Li)-mei-zing Li-Mei is a very go with the flow kind of person and said she was down for having a class outside. Yes, it was scuffed. Yes, I kind of learned things in that hour-long period. My hair did get very hot from the sun, though. We had midterms (where I had to write an anime review for each question I answered) and after midterms was the talent show that us JCs had to host. It was very scuffed, which honestly was what I think a good talent show should be. I do regret having to rush through everyone's acts near the end because we didn't have enough time. I'm sure many people were grateful, since everyone was required to sign up. We were on the last act, the returning student act, when a pipe broke in the ceiling and water started dripping. It had started pouring outside and Boston University's buildings was not holding under heaven's tears. There building started flooding. Most of the students evacuated or sought higher ground and played Fish. We had to take care of a keyboard piano. I got annoyed at a counselor for freaking out a bit too much and said a couple slightly rude words. I feel bad for that. I'm sorry, H, for snapping at you. Anyways, that weekend was also Barbenheimer! I didn't watch Oppenheimer, though, because there was no way I was going to sit through 5 hours of movie when I had a neverending pile of problems to solve. When we came back, I did end up watching Knives Out because my friends were appalled that I had not seen it and apparently it was some kind of masterpiece? I'm not a fan of the mystery genre, so I thought the movie was fine.

Oh and somewhere down the line M painted my fingernails. She really likes green, but I thought it looked kind of bad on me. I have nice nails, and I think they look best natural. (I'm sorry M.)

Week 4:

There's something called Research Labs that most of the returning students elect to do. Essentially, you work as a group to maybe create some new math. I didn't do a research lab because I didn't enjoy it that much last year, so I decided not to do one this year and focus more on doing some other math and spending more time with the advanced seminars. I think part of the reason why I started getting mad at myself was because I felt like I needed to produce something to prove that I was doing something worthwhile in the time that others spent in research lab. Originally, I wanted to write another minicourse (which are 1-hour long lectures that counselors and JC's give) on localization, but I never finished it. I really wish I did, but I don't think I would have had enough time to truly understand the subject well enough to give a good minicourse. Anyways, that week, we had a Fish tournament. The JC's made a team and we basically won (we made it to the finals but I think the other team quit or something because we never played the final game). I really like playing Fish. I've never played a card game before that has made my entire body shake. I used to be really bad at Fish, but that was online and I think being in person really helped my performance. During the Fish tournament, it felt like I could remember every move that occurred (I was informed later that I did not). Some of the people I play Fish with are kind of toxic, and that's really encouraged me to not make a single mistake, but also some of the toxicity had rubbed off on me. I'm sorry to everyone I was toxic to about Fish. I'm sorry to everyone I was mean to in general.
My minicourse was this week and some of my old PROMYS friends from first year came. It was really nice seeing everyone, and I met one of them for the first time irl, and she looked different from her Zoom presence, but after a while she looked like she normally did over Zoom. Crazy how the brain works. I made a mistake in my minicourse, but I think I handled it well.
We had a frisbee game at MIT, where I took some pictures in front of Killian Court. Someone got hurt during the frisbee game so we ended it preemptively (we were losing quite badly because we didn't take it nearly as seriously as we did last year).

Week 5:

I think this was when I got addicted to Wordle, doing the NYT Mini, and also Redactle. Thank you my friends for introducing me to such lovely games. I think my mental was really starting to improve at this point which is great! I just started telling myself that what I was doing was enough. I stayed up late to work on problems because I wanted to do the problems, not for fear of falling behind. The rest of PROMYS was so much fun when I wasn't constantly doubting my abilities. Funny how it works, but sometimes your brain just can't shut up with the negative thoughts. Over the weekend, we went to see a community production of Hamlet that was also partly in Spanish. Actually, Hamlet spoke in Spanish about 90% of the time. It was actually a really really fun experience and I don't regret going at all. As we were heading back, we stopped to play in a big playground after it closed. There were a bunch of teenagers and young adults there. We got some banger pictures of us on the playground but then a security guard came over with a siren on his truck and yelled at everyone that we were trespassing and we quickly scurried away.

Week 6:

More late night Redactling. More pictures. My counselor last year, now head counselor, S, had to leave early to go to grad school orientation. S is amazing and they're honestly one of the reasons why I powered through Promys both this year and last. I wrote S a very heartfelt goodbye letter and asked them to write me a very heartfelt letter and he did. Everyone took a lot of photos because the camp was ending and we were all really sad. I went to Hmart for the first time and we bought a lot of snacks and we ate those snacks while we watched American Psycho. Then, on the last day there's a big all nighter. A lot of kids asked me to sign their yearbook, probably because I was a JC and that made me well-known. I asked them to sign my yearbook in turn. I really enjoyed talking to all the first years. They all have such distinctive, fun personalities and I know they're all going to end up in great places. That's the best part of being a JC imo. During the all-nighter, I left all my friends for last because I wanted to write really personal notes to them. Writing those notes really made me think and reflect about my experience at Promys, and that was when I ran headfirst into my existential crisis because I wrote it down on someone's (actually this guy https://listed.to/@vt, since he did a plug for me, I'll do a plug for him) yearbook. I cried in the bathroom for a couple seconds, because I realized that now I actually have to face my problems instead of running away from them like in high school! Great! Anyways, we said goodbye to V, who left in the middle of the night. I got to sit down on the road in the middle of the night because there were no cars and that was very fun. Afterwards, we went to see the sun rise by the Charles and I got to get some very cool backlit photos of ducks and geese. I also got some mosquito bites that I had to treat once I got home. I had a connection in Minnesota and two other counselors were coincidentally also going to Minnesota (because they live there) and I followed one of them to the airport. We actually arrived like 2 hours before boarding and then I got put in the wrong line because how was I supposed to know that minor meant under 16 and not under 18 in airport speak. I waited almost an hour in that line before I got the courage to ask someone else about the regular line and I ran through the entire check in process and I lost my JC badge somewhere along the way and that makes me very very very very incredibly sad. I suppose that means I'll have to come back as a counselor.

Anyways, that's about everything that happened at PROMYS. I do want to take some time to write about my overall thoughts and to reflect about the experience instead of just relaying what happened.

Between the last PROMYS and this one, I took a creative writing class, and for one of the assignments, we had to write a personal narrative. I wrote one about PROMYS last year. It was a nice meditative piece with the climax being me deciding to return as a JC. I suppose I shall do something similar here where I decide to return as a counselor.

As someone who did not like math before my first year at PROMYS, I've grown quite attached to the program. It has really changed the course of my life. My younger self would burst into flames if she heard that I was planning to major in pure mathematics and am considering a career in academia. I've developed an affinity towards math education as a result. I really love math and I want to help change others' opinions on math like PROMYS changed my opinion on math. That's why being a counselor is appealing to me.

I think the most important part about being a counselor (and this is something that I only realized after talking to S an extensive amount) is watching your students grow. I know I certainly grew as a result of my time at PROMYS, but it had never occurred to me that other people were also dynamic and that they can also grow. Shocking, I know right? This year, I think I got a glimpse of some first years growing, and I would like to see more of that. Also, it would be nice to be a mentor in someone's mathematical journey, and to be able to help them become a better mathematician and person.

There are definitely some cons to being a counselor. The first and foremost being you get paid relatively little compared to doing a paid internship. As someone who is most probably going to go into industry, I should really be spending my summers getting an internship. In the summer after freshman year, I'm going to be traveling because I haven't had a chance to do so since the pandemic and I would really like to see my family after so long. I could fit in both PROMYS and traveling in my summer, and that's a decision for me to make near the end of the year. In the summer after sophomore year, I might consider going to PROMYS if I don't get an internship. We'll see how the internship search goes for me. I'm not even sure what part of industry I want to go into. Hopefully in the summer after junior year, I'll be able to get an internship. Hopefully in the summer after senior year, I'll have a job ready for me that I can go to. If it's possible, I'd like to start that job after August, so I'll be able to return to PROMYS that year. Who knows? Maybe I might be going to grad school after I graduate, but that's a long ways down.

Administrative work is something that I feel counselors get bogged down doing. Especially head counselors. Now, I'd like to think that I'm good at doing administrative work, so I'd have no trouble with it. It's just annoying. Actually, I had to do a good amount of administrative work when I was a JC, and that was also coupled with having to do psets. If I were a counselor, I'd have much more time to do all the administrative work required to keep PROMYS running to the best of its capabilities (which I don't think it did this year at least). One thing I do appreciate about PROMYS counselors is that they're not supposed to be the stereotypical bubbly camp counselor always trying to get everyone excited for things. Boy, I would actually pass out and die if I had to do that. I'm just not that kind of person. In fact, I am of the belief that those kind of people are actually masochists.

And finally, about this year. Hmm, I think I had the most fun this year. We definitely spent a lot more time goofing off compared to last year. I also discovered how useful taking a nap is. I stayed up way later this year compared to last year, but I took a nap after morning lecture and before advanced seminars (which also meant that I was skipping lunch on top of breakfast) and the nap added with my normal sleep amounted to around 7 hours. On the topic of food, I definitely ate less than last year. Last year, I was stress eating and I think I gained a nontrivial amount of weight, but this year I was able to sort of control my food intake and not just grab food because it looked yummy (I have a big problem with food; it brings me so much joy).

It was nice making new friends and hanging out with people that I wouldn't have otherwise. A lot of my friends from my first year didn't return (with the exception of @vt let's go) and that's obviously forced me to make new friends. I'm really grateful that I got to learn more about the other JC's, who were people that I knew of but didn't really talk to. It's surprising how complex people can be, and I'm again glad to be able to see that. And yeah, these people were a bit less pset-oriented and as a result I got to have a lot of fun goofing off with them.

I also got to make a lot of new mathematical discoveries for myself. I learned how important category theory is, and I think I'll definitely try to learn more of that on my own. I learned that commutative algebra is a thing that is very useful for algebraic geometry, which is the field that I'm thinking of going into. I'm currently learning that with two of my this year PROMYS buddies. I learned about mathematical maturity and how to proceed with learning math down the line. I learned a lot more algebra than I did last year, and I'm also grateful for last year giving me a good grasp on the algebra terminology that I need to learn more math. I think I understand Galois theory a bit more than last year. I got a good look at analysis and decided that algebra was better. Most of the math that I learned this year was from sources outside of the advanced seminars, and again this is where I say that I believe the heart of PROMYS is the people (apart from the first year NT problem sets which I think are quite beautifully crafted, but alas I didn't get a lot out of first year because covid and I was too scared to ask questions so I ended up misunderstanding at least 2 crucial definitions, but that was fine because math is really just trial by fire).

PROMYS is great. I feel like I am obliged to come back as a counselor to return the favor to the future generation. I think I will. I'll make sure of it one way or another.

100Days: 2, 6, 8