Saturday, Mar 16, 2024: It's such a nice day outside

It's such a nice day outside. The sun is shining and I don't have to battle the wind that bites at your skin and chills you to the bone whenever I walk outside. It feels like it's summer, and it just makes me smile and be happy in general. There are people outside in the field that my room overlooks playing frisbee and soccer. They're blasting some kind of rap music which is just a little bit annoying since I have my window open (I can finally open my window!)

People like sun in general. It makes them happy. I never really understood it until very recently. I used to hate it when the weather got hot. It wasn't just for the heat. For basically all of my childhood, summer was the time period that I had to kill until school started. My parents didn't want to drive me to places to hang out with people and they wouldn't let me get picked up by other people's parents, so I basically never went outside in the summer. I mean, I got mad shit from my parents when they had to drive me to marching band, but they were more okay with it I guess because it was a school event. To be very honest, though, I also stopped asking them to take me places and I think I assumed that they would say no many more times than they actually did. I give up easily sometimes (which actually just reminded me of a blog post that I had started and not finished).

Anyways, it's different now that I'm in college. I have much more freedom to go do the things I want to do, and the weather being nice makes it so much easier to go out and do things. Life has been going pretty well for me so far, and that's probably the main contribution to my optimism when I look at the nice weather. So here's a little life update, since it's been a really hot second since I last posted.

I started working on a blog post two weeks ago that I want to spend more time refining. It's about the cult of geniuses. I realize that this is a topic where I want to be very precise with my wording and what I mean, because it can be very easily misinterpreted, and I really want it to be something that changes people's perspectives on the topic. I suppose if I wanted to write a really good blog post, I should be taking the time to read other people's posts about this (I know there are a ton written about the perception of talent in math, which is the main topic). That's why I haven't posted anything since then.

I also haven't posted life updates in general, so I really should get into that, huh? The last actual life update that I posted was from a month ago, which actually wasn't that long ago. Anyways, I'll go through events in bullet point format, since they aren't really connected to each other.

• One thing that I've been doing this semester is pushing myself to join more organizations and meet more people. I have been meeting more people, and talking with people feels easier now. I'm just telling myself that it's not just okay, but very good if I yap about the small things in life, and that has been helping my conversation skills. You kinda forget that you're anxious about starting conversations and then it works? It's kinda stupid how it works. Also, it's okay if you don't immediately fit in. I was talking to someone who joined our entry in my dorm this semester, and I could feel that she wasn't 100% integrated into the group. I talked to her about it, and she said that it was fine and that she understood. After all, she hadn't "earned" her place yet, since she was still a newcomer. It's kinda silly, but I realized that socialization is a repeated effort over time. Somewhere down the line, I forgot all of this, and it's nice to be reminded of it.
• Yesterday, I was walking on campus when I met a man with a poster saying "ask a monk!" next to him. I asked him about his practices (he is Hindu) and he handed me a book. It's Canto 1 from the Srimad Bhagavatam with notes written by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. I honestly don't know much about Hinduism, but their understanding of meditation and chanting honestly really resonates with me. Oh wow, am I going to get converted to Hinduism? It's surprising to me, because it's one of the major religions that doesn't get talked about a lot in the western world (we hear a lot about Christianity, Judaism since they're prevalent in the western sphere of influence, and also Islam and Buddhism, the former in light of events in the 21st century and the latter because of pop/hippie culture?). I'll get back to you after I read some of these books chat :)
• I'm taking wayyy too many classes if you look at it numbers-wise, but I'm doing fine in them. I only really want an A in one of my two math classes, I'm just trying to pass 3.091 which is required chem, and I'm happy with a B in my other classes, though ideally I'd want an A. 3.091 is mad easy to pass, since you only need a 50% and I've been averaging like 70% so far. It's getting pretty close to the middle of the semester, and I've been doing fine in all of my classes so far (though I'm annoyed that the graders for topology take off points for the smallest things, and I've been averaging B's on my psets when I know how to do every problem. Like wtf?? are they trying to get me to hate topology? It's only point-set right now, so algebraic topology must have some really great redeeming qualities or I think analysis and topology might just not be for me.
• On the topic of classes, next week is going to be a hell week for me. I have 3 midterms and I haven't really started studying for any of them. Thankfully, with midterms comes no psets, so I'm pretty chill on the homework side. But also exams are hard to work with because I'm not really feeling the stress to study for them when I really should. I'm going to start today (Saturday) though! Other than that, I don't really have many updates. The weeks have been going by so fast, probably because I have so many psets due each week. But like I said, I'm not actually that busy.

Oh yeah, some words about pi day: congratulations to class of 28!!! I ate some good pies that day, the most interesting being a banana miso pie. I don't think I want to eat more banana miso pie, but it was an experience.

And to all of you who did not get the results that you would like: I'm sure you've probably heard this a thousand times, but you worth is not decided by what college you go to, and whoever tells you that or makes you feel that way are just assholes. There is a much bigger picture in life. College admissions is just taking a snapshot of your life and handing it to some rando, and maybe they'll like what they see and maybe they won't. It's very hard to remove chance and human error from the equation. I'm sure all of you are very capable of doing well in the world. Whatever school you do end up going to (and I'm sure you'll get accepted into great schools, even if you they're not your top choice), there will be plenty of resources for you to utilize. Of course, every school (even this one) has its pros and cons. Don't focus too much only on one school's pros and another schools cons. Make the most out of the present, because it's not like there's anything you can do to change it now. And remember, at the end of the day, your talents and hard work will be recognized. Maybe not now, but in the future. Believe me, believe in yourself, and believe in the people around you.

Go enjoy the nice day outside, if it is a nice day for you. If it's not, it will be soon, and go enjoy that day :).