Recuperation Of Thought

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Overthinking is a problem I've struggled with for a long time. Countless nights spent on senseless projections of the future, countless amounts of anxiety. I am not ashamed of it, it's something that I am slowly working on. Every minute spent in the present is a small win. Altogether, they signify the progress.

During these past few years, I started observing this habit more diligently. Daily journaling certainly helped - think about doing that if you're also struggling with overthinking (or basically anything, just do it). From my observations I noticed most overthinking, and the anxiety it induces, occurs in a similar manner.

The first stage is the state of being stuck. Usually, no breakthrough and/or valuable thoughts arise during that period. Just meaninglessly drifting through life. No intentions, very few outcomes. In that state I usually wish more would happen. I am simply tired of the nothingness.

Secondly, a Stroke Of Insight comes. Of course, it's very random; no way to predict or anticipate its coming. But, it's always there, or at least has been there, so far. Thought, energy, and excitement skyrocket to the highest levels. It is usually the moment where I think the most, feel the best, function the best. A peak in its truest form.

Lastly, a stage of lingering comes. I still have a lot of energy, and thinking is still heavily accelerated. Somehow, quite often I cannot channel this energy towards a meaningful things. It just gets lost on overthinking, which in turn creates anxiety.

This is, of course, not the only model. There are many, some of the more optimistic, some of them not. But this one has happened frequently enough for me to notice and observe it.

Which is still undefined. Maybe I have to "slow down" the rapid peak? So that the fall is less hurtful? Or maybe I need to channel that remaining energy into people? Maybe its just something I cannot handle on my own?

In the end, I think the answer is this:

I don't want to get less excited about stuff, come on!

But I have to channel that energy deliberately into other people; share the excitement. Do not let it linger and die off, creating a mess inside. Or, at least, let it die peacefully, alongside loved ones, but not alone.

No matter how independent we'd like to be sometimes, true independence depends on interdependence.

Love your people, share your good.

It's too good to be locked up.