the four tendencies

The Four Tendencies by Gretchin Rubin. The Upholder, the Questioner, the Obliger, and the Rebel. Each type is motivated differently. Upholders are motivated by both external and internal expectations. These tend to be the over-achiever type A personalities. Obligers are more motivated by external expectations than internal expectations and often are the people pleasers and care takers of the world. On the other hand, Questioners are mainly motivated by internal expectations. Sometimes internal expectations align with external expectations. But not always. Questioners need to know why. "Because I said so" will never work with a Questioner, while it can get the job done with an Obliger and Upholder. The Rebel is all over the place and rarely meets internal or external expectations.

While some people may say "I don't like being put in a box", I find this framework helpful for understanding my motivations. Someone else's expectations of me are rarely enough to motivate me. It has to be in sync with my own internal motivations. Knowing what motivates you is hugely important to staying consistent in your habits and daily actions.

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