how focusing on the process made me an artist

in the 11th grade i took a photography class

i took it to avoid taking a science class—my science fair project from the previous year earned me (and my science teacher) a trip to the international science fair—my teacher was eager for me to do another project because he wanted to go back to the international science fair

i didnt want anything to do with that—so i figured out i could skip science that year altogether and take a second art class

i was already taking video (which is what i was really interested in) i figured it wouldnt be so bad if i took still photography

also i discovered that your grade in art classes (at my high school) did not count toward your gpa—so i could get a f in photography and my grade point average wouldnt be affected—this no fail aspect of my class made me decide that in photography i would

• not complete any assignments
• not worry about taking photos my teacher liked
• not worry about taking photos my classmates liked
• not worry about taking photos that i liked

in short—i would focus on the process (not the product) of art

i experimented with

• shooting film at different speeds than the speeds for which it was designed
• modifying the developing process (fuddling the strict rules for the times of agitating the film)
• printing with ridiculously strong filters (filters then were just red plastic of varying thickness that changed contrast properties in the print)
• applying developer to the paper by dripping it with my fingers / spraying it on with atomizers to produce a painted look to the pictures
• choosing subjects based on their light properties instead of what i liked to look at or what i thought my classmates or teachers would like to look at
• and more

when i did this (invariably) when i showed my pictures to the class and to my teacher—they loved them

my classmates were jealous

my teacher was blown away

i got an a in the class

my product was (in that context) extraordinary

i learned (that year) that you cannot guarantee a product (but you can guarantee a process)

guarantees are good for workers / mechanics / people who are building things because you have to do something when you go to work—you cant just stand around hoping you produce a good product

and while you cannot guarantee that you exit the workshop with something good—you absolutely can guarantee that you follow a certain process while youre there !!

if (with every stroke of the paintbrush—with every slosh of the developer) your guidepost was making something good—how could you ever guarantee that what you make will be liked ?? there is no guarantee that a certain action in the making will produce a certain reaction in the consuming of the art

but there is a guarantee (when you follow a process) that you will be able to follow the process !!

your process involves you doing things without caring or thinking about whether people like it

whether people like it actually is too amorphous (too chaotic) a measurement—if you care about that your process will be frenetic

but if your process contains steps like choose a photo containing glass and mix it with a randomly chosen photo and place the result in a bin named probably then you can do those steps without the schizophrenia of considering what anyone (including you) thinks

thats good for making art because its good for making things and making art is very much like making any other thing

(my thoughts here are also influenced by david mamets arguments in on directing film in which he says basically the same thing—that its good for artists—as it is good for everyone else—to follow a process instead of just guessing based on what you think people will like)

so i will say that in the 11th grade i became an artist

because of this switch in focus from product to process

before (in video class) i was concerned with making a great movie—i never did anything like this (my movies sucked)

after (in photography—which wasnt an art i was even interested in) my product was great (because i focused on the processes i used to create it)

i thought my process focus would be to the detriment of my product

actually it freed it up

process focus made the product happen

process thinking is more sane (actually no) process thinking makes things possible—product thinking makes things impossible

(when you set out on a journey—you cant possibly know where youre going to end up—otherwise there would be no reason to go on the journey because by forumulating such a clear idea of where you want to go you are limiting where you might end up—when you think about whether people will like what youre doing you are basically nullifying your journey because you sterilize it before you start the trip)

process thinking is about the how

how am i going to proceed ??

how am i going to act in this moment ??

not why am i doing this or where am i ultimately going ??

just

how am i going to hold this brush

how am i going to move my arm

how am i going to think about the shapes in front of me

there are lots of questions to ask (and answer)

to me how is the most relevant

what is a question about the product (the destination)

how is a question about the process (the journey)

when i think about my life (when i decide what to do in this moment) knowing how i will proceed is possible and sane

trying to reach a predetermined what will i accomplish is crazy and useless (since it will produce nothing novel—it will contain nothing surprising i discovered along the way)

but when people see the results of my journey (the answer to my how questions) they will see something novel—because it was novel to me