people watch me when im taking pictures

when im at the gas station and i get out of the car to take a picture of the passenger of some flatbed truck

people in the parking lot watch me

when i walk down the street with my walker and take pictures of the storm grates

people watch me

they think (against all logic) that i work for the city and im inspecting something broken—people come up to me while im standing there wearing casual clothes—pushing a walker—taking pictures with my phone—and they talk about how the storm grates have been messed up forever

they tell me to do something about it !!

my landlord—i was taking pics of the moss growing on the side of the building—im sure he thinks im documenting his ineptness (ready to report him) but really im just enjoying the look of the moss

people get defensive—taking pictures of graffitid trucks i was pressured (while i was with my walker) by three men to get the hell out of the public place i was in

but mostly people are interested

theyre interested in me (yes)

but mostly they're interested in what im looking at

because they didnt think to look at it ??

but once they see me looking at it (intently—with a camera) then they start looking at it (trying to see what i see)

when i say this is special by paying attention to something—other people pay attention too

(i cant help but bring up david mamet again—who says that a person interested in nothing but themself is interesting to no one—but the instant that person goes after something passionately—that is the instant that person becomes interesting to us)

i was at the gas station the other day taking photos of the bugs behind the beer brand fluorescents

and this girl with her family was watching me

she saw me go quickly to the signs

saw me take out my phone

saw me place the device right up to the bugs

she was watching me cause i was watching them

i snapped some pics

i made an entry of my young watcher in a mental log—all of what i saw of her (i saw) in the reflection of the glass

maybe shell become a photographer

maybe not

but she will have in her mind at least one example of a person photographing bugs in a gas station—not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks

there was the road worker i snapped a picture of when i hoped she wasnt looking

my wife was driving

the road worker came up to the car and asked me if i had taken a picture of her

(weakly) i lied—said i hadnt—later i deleted her picture

i realized that saying yes—i took your picture would have been an introduction that could have led to more pictures

my young friend landon is 2 years old—he was the child who looked the most at my and my wifes gift to his family (a pic of the birds that were growing in the eaves of their house)

everyone else looked at that picture

but landon really looked

he looked because (of all the people in that house) landon didnt get to thoroughly see the birds while they were still in his house

so this picture was his way to really see

people are curious when they see you taking pictures

i think theyre curious that youre curious

were all so shut down and silenced and separated in this society

pictures are one way we can break that down

being curious about what we look at

being curious about what others look at

were watching each other watch each other

wanting to see what others see

when someone looks—really looks—at something

maybe we wonder

what they would see

if they looked at us