dosing.me

@dosingme

I'm a guy in his late-20's recently shaken by a major depressive episode brought on by lifelong styles of thinking. I'm earnestly seeking self-compassion through psychodynamic therapy, lifestyle changes, and microdosing psychedelics.

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the drugs

After some reading online, I've learned that LSD and magic mushrooms are the two most popular substances with which to microdose.

They have different affects on the consciousness when microdosed, with mushrooms described as "earthy" and LSD as "crisp".

From The Third Wave:

Mushrooms tend to dissolve the ego by immersing the user in their surroundings, which can be real or imagined. They promote deep introspection and meditation. It’s likely you will feel a deeper connection to, and understanding of, the ancient rituals that used mushrooms. Think grounded feelings, tactile undulations. Even with a microdose, you may still experience the sensation of being plunged into your mushroom trip.

LSD will dissolve the ego through the sheer clarity of experience. Sounds, colors, and interactions will seem to happen smoothly and without your involvement. You will feel at home both on a walk in the woods and at a coffee shop in the city. It’s flexible, forgiving, and uplifting. LSD feels like something designed to improve you. If you plunge into the depths of mushrooms, you emerge from the surface with LSD.

My goal with microdosing at this stage is to overcome emotional numbness by accessing areas within myself that I suspect have been neglected for many years. From my current uninitiated perspective, mushrooms appeal to me more than LSD, so I will probably begin with that.

the purchase

Purchasing illicit substances from the dark web is fairly easy for the technologically-savvy. One requires Bitcoin and a basic knowledge of web anonymity and security. There are however, many scams which I learned about first hand. One in particular is that there are fake markets that mirror trusted vendors, listings and reviews. I was scammed out of a small amount of money by one such market named 'Green Road' that I found on a Wiki page on the surface web. Some tips: do not trust open Wikis you find on Google for reliable markets. Cross-reference markets you find with Google searches or Reddit posts. Good markets appear to be under near-constant DDoS attacks but working mirrors usually load fairly quickly.

I was quite fastidious with seeking a good vendor. I searched for as-close-to-perfect review records as possible. Stealth and speed were also factors in my decisions. I chose what seemed to be reputable vendors and made my purchases, which were very affordable. (Microdosing seems to be incredibly cheap despite its blackmarket status, highlighting avaricious 'Big Pharma' practices. Food for thought.)

I purchased small quantities of the following:

  • LSD-25 in tab form, around 100μg per tab
  • Liquid extract of magic mushrooms, the equivalent of around 5g dry mushrooms

These quantities are around enough for two people (or maybe one veteran) to have a very intense trip. At my starting points of ~10μg LSD or 0.1g mushrooms per dose, I estimate this humble quantity could last over a year (though I intend to begin with around 1-3 months, and am very wary of developing a long-term habit).

I have yet to receive the drugs in the mail, but expect one or both packages next week sometime.


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