d

dvy

some day you'll read this

This is getting silly

So I have shingles. Again. The last time was at the start of February, and this current influx (an influx of shingles...) marks the fourth time in a year. All previous times it's been brought on by stress and feeling run down. This time, I wasn't stressed, and I wasn't run down. Or at least I didn't think I was. So I have no idea why it's come out. I noticed it for what it was yesterday, but the docs was closed as it was Sunday. So this morning I made the call, and collected the pills this lunch time.

Yielding and being carried along by the Wind of the Spirit

Praying in tongues

As I pray in tongues for extended times, I allow the Holy Spirit to take control of me. It is a yielding of my heart to His. It takes faith - and I believe. I believe that as I do this, He comes and leads me. As I do this more, my life and ministry will become more influenced and inspired (literally "breathed into") by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I might make decisions or say things which are Spirit inspired yet I am not aware of that fact.

Silence

God is in total control. The wind blows where it wishes. I want to be swept along by the wind of the Spirit. Not trying to walk against the wind in my own will and desires, but to be carried along by Him. He knows what He is doing. I don't need to know everything, but as I allow myself to be carried along by Him, it is then He will reveal more to me.

Myself in ministry

I feel happiest when I'm writing and preaching my own sermons. I ask God what He wants me to preach on, and I preach with His empowering and guiding.

God brought me to be the pastor of this church for a reason, and it is as I live out who I am in Him where He uses me the most.

Vaccine

Yesterday I had my Covid vaccine. The Oxford one. Waiting in anticipation for side effects.

Update. Side effects for me are minimal, just fatigue.

Nothing

I have spent the last hour doing approximately nothing. That's a shame, seeing that I have so much I should be doing. I can't get myself into the right headspace.

Does anyone have any tips for me? You can't leave comments. Hmm.

Scunnered

At the start of this new lockdown I feel, to quote Nicola Sturgeon, "scunnered." I don't feel like I have much in me. Whether it is the sense of the unknown - will the kids go to school? when will they go to school? will it be hard to get them to go to school? - or just the change in general to how it was back in March - I feel empty. But I have to give. There are people who need encouragement and apparently I am the one who has to give it to them. Is that right or wrong? I feel like I need a break and it is day one.

I am not sure what to expect

When we were locked down in March last year, it had surprising novelty factor. Flour ran out in supermarkets. That was fun. We baked bread with no flour. Schools were shut. That was not so much fun, but we enjoyed home-schooling at least for a couple of weeks. My wife and I are both key-workers but taught our children for months. Too long, probably. We eventually caved and sent them to school two days a week before the summer holidays started.

This time I am just not sure what to expect. I am imagining that flour will be in stock. I am not imagining have to queue for one hour to get into Tesco. But then again, who knows?

Something else that happened early in last year's lockdown, April to be precise, is that I contracted... shingles. Again. The stress of my “vocation”, plus other influences, got to me. I had no coping strategy. I had nothing to keep myself afloat. And so my skin/immune system kind of just gave in. After that, I found several things that helped keep me sane. I might share those things at some point, if I remember.

But meanwhile, I get the feeling that writing here regularly is going to pretty cathartic. Is that the right word?