Self Talk - an initial experiment

00:00
Can I use this session as self therapy? Can I? Ask questions to myself and expect that they would be some interesting insights and answers, which may emerge from the deep dark. Hidden closets. Oh, there are multiple closets. Yes, I forgot to mention those two. But. Can we try and knock on some new doors and see how?

00:36
Uh, the skeletons and darker Secrets. Can come out. Or maybe I can? A torch light into the darker corners and nooks and crannies. Of my soul. Can I do more Soul searching? Okay, let's be practical. What do I expect to achieve from? Talking to myself, asking myself questions and hoping that something interesting and useful will come out of this.

01:12
Is it even possible that? Something like this can happen. Or is it just? A vague fairy tale like notion that Santa Claus will come and everything would be revealed after that. I don't know. Let's see how these things go. But unless I continue with this game or experiment. And try and explore if something really.

01:45
Comes up. Which I, I am sure, will surprise me. I am not really sure. How to take this forward? Because one the structure is nebulous? And the direction which it may take would not necessarily be only positive. That's to say that things can go. All right, things can go amiss.

02:20
Things can get screwed up, but let's be optimistic and hopeful, and try for the best. So, here goes. Let's give it an honest shot and see how? You can explore the depths of your soul. Okay, here's an idea which I want to note down or call out and try probably with a better plan in our subsequent session is.

02:54
Maybe I should have a list of questions which are? Prepared beforehand and? They're either read out to me, or I can read them one by one and then try and answer each of them to the best of my ability. Okay and? Once the session is over, I could record it, of course.

03:20
I would record it, and I could listen to what I've been saying. And see if? I can discover any insights whether there are chinks in the armor, so to say. And. Try and explore how I can do better. Try and discover myself blah, blah, blah. Okay, there's a question which has been in the corner of my mind.

03:52
As. Why do you often prefer to keep quiet and remain in the background, like a fly on the wall like wallpaper and not jump into where the action is, and try and grab the spotlight and scream for attention. Blah, blah, blah. It need not be over the top. It could be more subdued and muted, but you need to make your presence felt.

04:27
You need to say. Words, which are measured. Braided and? Have their punch or throw your weight of your experience. And. Say, what's required, and not keep mom about stuff, which would later come back and haunt you? Now, that's being cliched, but that's exactly what happened. The previous week where you could have avoided this kind of embarrassment in and ask somebody else to bark and fight for you on your behalf and things.

05:09
Past probably have taken a different turn, and someone could have discovered stuff, which. May have been useful to whole lot of others. Okay, let's uh, come coming back to the question. The core of the question is? Uh, why is it that you often? Knowingly keep quiet when? You could speak without overdoing it without going over the top and still make a mark, which is required.

05:45
And which would be appreciated by a whole lot of people. Ah, the example was the. A team meeting last month, but you had sufficient time to prepare so? Does it mean that you are more comfortable having a prepared structured? Format rather than going off the cuff and rambling and.

06:13
You generally talk sense. It's not that things come out all scattered and Haywire, but you prefer to be conscious and more engaged and. Uh, let's say. You would like to be in control of situations rather than allowing them to go all over the place? Okay, that's, uh, interesting. What I am observing about myself as I speak is.

06:46
That I am holding my breath for far too long. And there are no pauses. And I'm not aware of how I am feeling as I am speaking. And I am also not connecting with my audience, so there are two things or are the three things which I should take away from this.

07:16
Uh, monologue. Is? Being more self-aware and. Pausing. Taking deep breaths as you speak. And you could modulate yourself to an excessive level, or you could. Go ahead and Blaster your way through. But remember, this is not an emotionally charged. Content, so you aren't feeling the pressure. But still, I observe that.

07:55
The breathing is Jarred, the breathing. Is? Not regular. There is no specific period of relaxation. And no specific period where? You are speaking without being aware how your body is under pressure or stress. Okay. Now, the other important aspect in this conversation is, how are you? Aware as to the other person in the conversation and what is their level of Engagement?

08:43
Is everyone listening to you, or are people drifting all over the place? Are they hooked on to something else? Is something which you need to be conscious. And try and catch as much of signal as you can. Another important takeaway. When, especially when? You are alone, or when you are.

09:16
Involved in a routine activity. Eating. Probably, you are having lunch. For breakfast. Are you aware of your breathing? Are you aware? How the emotions are flowing through your body. Are you aware? How the intonation? Is coming out and rolling over your tongue? And what expressions are? On your face.

09:53
Try and remain present. This exercise can also be done when you're listening to someone. And observe. Where you feel difficulty. Where you sense blockage? And. Also, see if you can. Be more aware of the tension, and also if you can release this tension. Interesting observations. Being self-aware, being aware of the audience, and take more breaks.

10:39
I guess that sums up. The monologue for today. There was one other interesting. Side note about what were the lessons learned during the day? Um. Don't seem to be able to recollect what it was which I would want to document as a lesson learned. Probably that. I should be more Curious.

11:15
I should be. Yes, okay, I remember now. Breathing. Or rather awareness of breathing. Is? Able to cure you? Of everything, including pain, illness, sickness, whatever. So, this is another. Master weapon or a secret weapon? And the more proficient you become. The more beneficial it would be. Channeling the powers and?

11:57
Gaining deeper insights. There is one other thought which I would want to capture as a last minute. Item. Before we. Ah, say, let go of the bus. Was? Should I pursue this angle of startup? Ah, is his name prakash or his name prashant. I never seem to get what his first and second names are.

12:31
Is he avoiding me? Is he not interested? Am I trying to impose myself? Of is he trying to test my perseverance and persistence could be either of them? Could be none of them. Could be all of them. But. The missing link, I believe. Here is the core idea. What do you want to build?

13:06
And. More importantly. What problem? Will that solve? Focus on these. Try and! Have an outline? Against which you can? I wouldn't say do an elevator pitch, but? You should be convinced you don't need to sell it to yourself. Uh, if you're able to talk yourself. Uh, into believing what you have as a viable product.

13:45
I think. We have. A good start. And we can then start trying to identify the problems which. May come further down the road and then try and start solving for those problems. Or at least have a version one. So to say for? What you can think of as a problem, and how would you go about solving it?

14:18
With. All the constraints, or I should say, without any external. Assistance, or wherewithal. So, so to say? Okay, I think that's been a pretty long session, and uh, we'll catch up soon. Thank you and have a great rest of your day.