dissolution

As meditation grows, it begins to dissolve all that's unreal in us.

It can feel at times like we're losing precious parts of ourselves to the spreading silence. Memories can wash up in its wake that stir a longing for qualities we no longer feel compelled to display, for desires we no longer feel compelled to pursue.

The potential is still there, none of that has gone anywhere. But we can see now how often we had been betraying ourselves in exhibiting these qualities and chasing these desires. We can see what enormous amounts of energy we'd been expending in performance. To gain and hold the attention of others, to feel valued in their eyes, to gain something out of it all.

Looking deeply enough we find that it was never truly satisfying, never truly enough. If it had been, we wouldn't have come to this place.