change

I'm someone who turned out to be fundamentally at odds with much of my environment. Family, friends, society as a whole - the values and outlooks rarely seemed to lined up. And rather than being true to myself, I grew up trying to change and fit myself into the systems around me. This lead to the many binds which I'm now struggling to release myself from.

It's not at all that I've changed. I'm exactly who I've always been. Only now I'm choosing myself, and extricating myself inch by inch from the confines of my past choices and behaviours. Instead of trying to change, I'm embracing who I am.

This will seem to others as if I'm changing, that who I am used to be one way and is now becoming another way. But that isn't so. They'll resist and mourn their former image of me, and they should be given compassion for this. It wasn't their faults. It was always my choice, I just couldn't see that. It isn't anybody's fault, and all involved deserve only compassion.

The process will continue. Truth is asserting, and trying to change for others will come to a gradual stop. Life is already responding and beginning to change to reflect me instead.