define

Ate a cheese sandwich at around 3am so naturally ended up having a slew of vivid dreams. The one I woke up to was interesting.

I was in a conversation with 3 other people much larger than myself who were trying to define the meaning of human existence. They each chose a different word for it - one "gratitude", another "purpose" and the last "pleasure", and they were taking it in turns to explain why theirs was true.

When my turn came I blurted out in frustration "it isn't any one of those things! It's all happening at once, how could it be contained in a word?"

At this the three of them looked visibly irritated and started muttering to each other as if I were being a pest. I regretted my response and told myself I should've just gone along with it. Then I woke up.

It's only recently that I've started considering being more open with my views (or lack thereof). The vast majority of the time I'm not. I've always been uncomfortable with the possibility of bursting bubbles and tend to lean towards affirming whatever comforting beliefs people are holding onto. Most of the time I don't mind but it can sometimes leave me with a certain loneliness, and a sort of dull static in my head.