integrity

Knowledge...so compelling, but so often it only serves to pull me away from my life and my own innate responses. Whatever might arise in me is immediately crowded out by all the words of others constantly processing across my unconscious, making me janky and jittery, removing me from the flow of what's in front of me. It creates the illusion of intelligence but really I become more and more functionally stupid, awkward, clunky and off center. It's lead to delusion, and worst of all, a lack of true humility.

Living is simple. Really, it is. The things that are physically happening right here and now - this is what deserves and desperately needs my attention. Not these fascinating ideas and delicious morsels of insight and wisdom. At some point it becomes tantalizing junk food for the mind, like expensive chocolates wrapped in gold foil with the same nutrition profile as a Mr. Big.

What matters is responding to what's arising with integrity, compassion and maybe some humour. That's it. And the appropriate responses come from within ME. I'm the only one who can do this, and I need to be present and have confidence in my responses to truly live my life and learn the lessons I need to learn. I can't always be removed from the immediacy of it while taking in all this data from other peoples' lives. I need to attend to what's here and now.

The thing is, I've recognized this before. I'll try my best to focus on creation rather than absorption. Output rather than input. Experimentation rather than perfection.