persona
February 14, 2022•222 words
We tend to assume that people are who they appear to be. That their social identity and the things they say tell us what they really think and feel. It's entirely possible though (and actually the norm) to interact through personas which serve certain functions without reflecting our personal values and inner states. To subjugate aspects of ourselves to get our needs met and to meet the needs of others and the demands of circumstance.
Most of us lack the self awareness to clearly differentiate between different sides of ourselves so confusion with others is inevitable. But the truth is that no matter how well we know someone, we can't know that we know all of them. Even if we're really intimate, there are always aspects people might keep to themselves, sometimes unconsciously.
Each of us has a right to this. We don't have to share every aspect of ourselves with others and they don't have to with us. Despite the steady erosion of personal boundaries taking place in the world, we aren't entitled to that. We're in a world in which trust and intimacy needs to be developed between individuals among billions, and the persona can act as a screening mechanism until deeper layers are revealed to those appropriate. It doesn't need to be demonized, just seen for what it is.