belief

Beliefs are composed of word/image based thoughts. Thoughts which are taken in and then adapted, identified with, held onto and recalled at certain trigger points.

When we're operating free of these thoughts, life is occuring as it always is. When a belief enters our awareness, it's as if a tube has been placed around our eyes with a lens on the end which filters all we see into a specific spectrum. We narrow our focus and say "this is how it is", and as long as these lenses/thoughts are active in consciousness, the fullness of life is obscured in favor of certain specific ideas.

This is why, despite our beliefs, we inevitably speak and act in ways that run counter to them. It's because in those moments, the relevent belief-thoughts aren't predominant in our awareness. Later on they may be and we may feel conflicted about what unfolded if it ran counter to our chosen (or programmed) beliefs, but take the belief-thoughts away again and the conflict is gone. There is once again only whatever is occuring in awareness, once more free of those specific interpretations.

I still operate under unconscious beliefs much of the time. I know this because I still experience bouts of prolonged psychological suffering as a result of narratives that I'm unable to immediately detect and detach from. I also have certain ideas, theories and interpretations that I come back to, refine and allow to influence me more than others. Sometimes these ideas are more dense and sometimes more transparent. Sometimes I'm convinced of their essential truth and sometimes I'm aware that I'm engaging with collections of words and images that I've conjured or absorbed in a particular moment.

This can be enjoyable and compelling. Beliefs can be fun to explore and at times can feel powerfully meaningful. They can give a sense of stability and direction. But whatever belief I may be experiencing in a particular moment isn't truth. It's just one more ephemeral manifestation of it that needs to be held loosely if I'm to remain open to what lies beyond my perception.

By living in awareness of the conceptual and non-conceptual dimensions of reality, of the inherent limitations of the former and the inherent infinitude of the latter, I can hold the conceptual lightly while remaining in a perpetual state of growth/decay, exploration, openness and receptivity within.