responsibility

As individuals, we can basically approach life in two ways. We can do what we want to do, what feels right to us, what we believe to be right, what we're called to do. Or we can do what others want, what feels right to them, what they believe to be right, what they call us to do.

We're so deeply conditioned with so much programming, layers upon layers of it. Parental programming, social programming, educational programming, sexual programming, moral programming, religious programming, societal programming. All of it serves, essentially, to bring the individual under the direction of others. The child directed by the parents, the adult directed by the leaders, the individual directed by the group. To what end? That depends on who's doing the directing and what they want the individual to do. Sometimes it's done out of love and compassion. Sometimes there are other motives. Regardless, most individuals learn from an early age to suppress their instincts and look to others for correction and direction.

The truth is, we aren't really beholden to any directions. There are always circumstances beyond our control but we're all born into this world free to choose how to live our own life with what's available. We're all born unconditioned with inbuilt guidance systems to direct our own will, which is why all this programming is needed to override it - to tell us what to think, how to feel and what to do so we don't do so for ourselves. Nonetheless, we're all essentially free to pursue our own path no matter what anyone else says or has said. We're also free to consider and accept the benefits and consequences of that path, as well as the benefits and consequences of following someone else's directions.

That's what it means to take responsibility for oneself and one's life. To accept this freedom, and the fact that we are the one choosing whether to relinquish responsibility to others or to choose for ourself based on what's available.

The first step towards responsibility and the freedom it entails is awareness. Without awareness we're largely controlled by conditioned thoughts, feelings, values and beliefs. Awareness of the sources of these unveils the possibility of choice. As awareness expands, we become increasingly capable and aware of other possibilities.

Once choice is revealed, the paradigm begins to shift. Gradually we stop blaming others and making them responsible for us. We start choosing for ourselves regardless of what others think, feel, value, believe, do and want, and we become ready to accept the outcomes of those choices. We start giving others the freedom to live as they will while giving ourselves the same.

Taking responsibility doesn't mean that the individual refuses to participate, collaborate, consider the wellbeing of others or adhere to rules, norms and expectations. It means that the individual chooses to what extent they're willing and able to do so. It means taking all external influence as factors, perspectives and suggestions to be considered rather than as irrefutable and unrefusable requirements, facts or truths.