storms

Today was a processing day. Strong surges of emotion and near-constant barrage of disruptive thoughts. Kept getting pulled into them, into the scenarios playing out, getting fired up at them, rationalizing and projecting and judging and defending. I decided to just accept that it was going to be one of those days and make room to let it happen.

As I went about my day I'd get sucked in, then notice and watch, then get sucked in again, then notice and watch, again and again all day. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it, and I didn't really want to (though on some level I did because of how frustratingly unproductive and bothersome it can feel). Mostly I settled on seeing it as the body/mind doing some heavy processing and me (as in my awareness) being along for the ride.

It's like a passing storm of energy showing up as thoughts and feelings. If I try to suppress it it'll only erupt later even stronger. But if I make room to let it run its course, it'll wind down on its own eventually. And once it does, I'll usually find some renewed energy, clarity and insight floating up in its wake.