53.

So I'm becoming a tutor. Some days ago, I saw an advertisement on my uni's website, saying that they're looking for people who can tutor middle schoolers who have trouble with certain subjects. I applied, got a call, and I have my first lesson this Tuesday. So first of all: that went really goddamn fast. But also, I had an extensive introduction today, and that really helped. I now feel like I'm actually somewhat prepared and I somewhat know what to expect. Somewhat. I already know that in teaching, whatever you expect and whatever you prepare will not happen. So I know better than to count on any expectations too much. But it feels good to meet other tutors, to talk with experienced people, and to get help. I guess what I'm most excited about is that I'll have a chance to actually help out some people who might be in a difficult place. In Belgium, education inequality is very bad, which means that having a low socio-economic status is pretty much equal to having trouble in school. And since classes are big and full, the teachers don't have time or energy to look after every single edge case. The lessons must continue. So I'll have a small group, and I will be able to do exactly that: pay attention to individuals. Besides the subject itself (English, by the way), I'll also have to pay attention to their background and other things that might be playing a role in their lives. It might just be that there are things at the root of their difficulty that have nothing to do with English. I hope I can make a difference.

Oh also, I just saw Uncut Gems. I'm so very conflicted. I think I liked it, really liked it even, but despite myself. This is the opposite of a guilty pleasure. It's really not my kind of movie, and I didn't have a particularly good time watching it. But I just can't get around the fact that this movie is really goddamn good. So good, that it somehow didn't activate the many triggers that so many other movies did. Take Climax, a movie that's supposedly good. I profoundly hated it. I acknowledge that it's impressively filmed, but aside from the technical aspects, it's a shit experience that I don't wish on anyone. It's strongly goes against what I like about movies and why I value them. And Uncut Gems, in a lot of ways, is similar. It's one-note, it's frantic, it's miserable, it's people screaming constantly. And yet I have to admit: it's a great movie. Afterwards my girlfriend and I had an hour-long discussion about it. It's truly something. And I admit that begrudgingly.