the shape of what you want

before an earthquake animals run around more than usual—maybe theyre excited—maybe theyre scared—but somehow these animals know that an earthquake is going to happen

before it happens

can they predict the future ?? probably not

theyre just extra sensitive and can feel the rumblings (or signs) of the earthquake before it happens

they can in a sense feel it before it happens

but of course theyre really only sensing the earthquake before we do

those animals scurrying are an early warning of the event (like the coal mine canary) of the earthquake or the seeping of deadly gasses into the mine

those events have a shape in time and space

the earthquake event has a dense point (when the quake happens to us) thats the point where you wake up in bed because the house is shaking

but it also has sparse points (lighter—before the shaking) and this is what the animals hear

we use them as a predictor but theyre not strictly predicting—theyre sensing! (theyre just extra sensitive)

so what about wanting ??

when i want something i get a shining silvery feeling creeping round the edges of my stomach—its exciting—i feel creative and lustful and sometimes i develop more and more feelings about this thing i want—and maybe i get it! maybe it happens—or maybe the want fades and i let the object of my desire go away away away

this want (i think) is like the birds and the deer fluttering around before an earthquake—and the earthquake (in this analogy) is the object of my desire

what im saying is that just as the scurrying deer are not predicting the earthquake—my desire is not a predictor of my someday getting what i want

we think of desire as a motivator—in some cases its the cause of our getting what we want

but what im saying is that we developed the concepts of prediction and motivation to make sense of not understanding the shape of things

the shape of earthquakes and other objects

objects of our desire !!

when you want something that doesnt mean youre going to get it (so wanting something alone isnt an indicator that your desire is on the edge of your desire object—just as a deer scurrying around the forest doesnt indicate an earthquake)

there are wants that (lead) to obtaining desires and wants that dont—scurrrying that (leads) to an earthquake and scurrying that doesnt

but of course my wants dont cause me to obtain what i desire any more than the scurrying in the forest leads to the earthquake !!

its impossible for us to 100% distinguish between types of scurrying that is part of an impending earthquake and types that are not—impossible also to tell whether a persons want will lead to the event they desire

but as time progresses

the deer knows

and as time progresses and a persons desired event approaches

the person knows too

but not because their desire predicts their future

and not because their desire causes their future

but because their desire lies on the edge of an event that approaches through time

that twinge in your stomach

that excitement

that desire

its not just you wanting something—its that sometimes wanting something is a feeling that lies on the edges of eventually getting it